Block 1 finally over...

Yesterday,12/06 i finally finished block 1 exam! Though it's just a block exam, quite suffering it was... haiz.. too much to remember last minute... till i was a bit tension and found hard to sleep the day before exam..(may be scared i'll forget after i wake up ba..) luckily at the end i slept also.... otherwise, it was going to be horrible...( i mind i couldnt sleep> i couldnt finish studying..aha...)
Throughout the 8 days, i felt it was too long .luckily time passed very fast...
And so grateful that there are support and care..so that i could get over without crying(very much different from 1st year block 1) despite all the stress...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

For yesterday night, we played in nat's house and was overnight there... I think we all really drank a lot of alcoholssss.. till everyone was flushing, high high... haha. played games, eat snacks and HEART ATTACK! ( really experience tachycardia + the alcohols). people who lost in 5 or 10 rounds had to DOWN a cup of alcohols by Nat.. haha...this was the last game i played. i was also the earliest to sleep.. heh... cant stand d... 2nd latest to wake up..:p ( haha, 5 minutes earlier than qi yuan)..
in fact, i still feel hangover from yesterday"so many cups of"alcoholic drink... lol! today not going anywhere... feel time passed so slow when nothing to do in manipal. tired but couldnt sleep.. what to do?
Now my only wish is to faster finish Block 2 and back to malaysia for 1 month. I wish i have longer hols...i miss my papa mama a lot!

Memorising = 2nd year Medicine

Today just finished a pharmacology test.... monday was a microbiology test.. damn difficult.

So far i have never written a blog on 2nd year... but nothing to write also... a single word can describe: HARD! or i should add another word: DAMN HARD!

haha.... now so much self studies... i dont like microb, i dont like pharmac, i dont like pathology, i dont like forensic!( actually it is interesting.... but during exam, i think this will be the subject which kill u!) so far we never study forensic on our own, i think we will leave it till the time block exam comes! how to do well if that is last minute effort?!

So many things to remember. I should say MEMORISE. More than our brain capacity. " Study and Forget" is the slogan of 2nd year.... but we still have to remember sth so that we could be able to face exam.... haiz...a stressful and scary life we have! i think i remember, but when i recall,i feel blank. or i confused between this and that....

I think we really taste "MEDICINE"... what we are studying now forms the basic for our career tomorrow. We have stepped 1 step closer to "world of doctors and hospitals" as we are now reading all about diseases, infections , and medications. and they are very difficult la... anyway, i just know that, to become a good and efficient doc tomorrow, i must master them!foundation is always so important.... we cant miss it... haiz.... i dont know how well i could do... i will just try my best, at least pass the examination....

Berjuanglah! the early june will be a "disaster" not only for me, i think for whole batchmates... haha....

My Crutching Days( 23/03--09/04)

Sorry for not been updating my blog for so long... Indeed since i came back manipal, it was a big inconveniency :o
Well, just the 1st day my class started, in that afternoon i accidentally fell from stairs and sprained my right ankle. It was indeed a terrible pain... i couldnt move for 5 minutes, then slowly i went back to hostel. Actually i dont plan to consult any doctor or go hospital, but bacause of the swelling bigger and bigger and the pain persisted, i couldnt even walk properly. I considered for very long indeed, at night 10 sth only i went to hospital ..haha..
Doc did X rays, said no fracture. Just the so called lateral talocalcanean ligament torn. Funny, i forgot what ligament it is...:p anyway, here no 中医,no 跌打..no physiotherapy...they wrapped my leg like an elephant up to the knee.. and cast it. Haiz.. this was the 1st day of my 2nd year... im not able to walk.soooo unforgettable! I was lucky that when i back to my hostel... i had no crutches. Thank God that there were few KMC students. They not only helped me up to my room.. also lent me crutches... which became a part of my life during the next 3 weeks.
I was also lucky enough to have nice friends in Manipal. Here the most important ppl that i must thank were of course Betty and Natalie! Thanks so much for their kindness to offer me to stay in their house... because my hostel has no lift, if not staying in their house, i had to “crutch up” till 3rd floor in my hostel... i definitely wouldnt have tolerated the cast and crutches for ard 3 weeks. And i wont heal in expected time also... throughout these 3 weeks, i had fun in their house. Thanks Natalie for her room and her bed! And it is not easy to suddenly share half of the room with other ppl, esp a “habit snoozer” like me.. haha... dont know whether my alarm had waken her up for how many times! Really feel sorry for that! Also thanks betty who really like a “mother”, im not saying that she is old, but she definitely has kind of “ devoted” heart.. haha! Indeed even after i took off my cast, i would feel like a bit reluctant to leave their house immediately..i stayed for 2 more days:)... their house is not like a hotel, they really made it a “house”... that's great! And i like it! I wont forget the 3 week stay in primier residency, also those pictures that we all may not see outside.. like how “ sexy” betty is in house,and how “cute” nat is when she's online or chatting. Indeed, she might not be as cool as we usually see:) ( i hope they wont kill me!:p)
Not to forget of course some other friends like Pau Shan, Sin siuew(i saw your comment, this kind of experience u never had... u might not know how to help also..dont feel sorry, i understand la ), Qi yuan, Catherine, Lee Min, Everlyn,Adeline.....so on.. who helped me here and there when i was so inconvenient to walk. Like helping me buy lunch, carry bag when there was lab.... or may be when i was not so “pro” in crutching... it was damn tired, painful muscles and armpit i had! Thanks for any single word of encouragement from friends when walking with me.. It is kinda “ pushing” me to continue proceeding....And now i could proudly say that using crutch is a new skill that i have learnt in 2009!haha... i finally understood why physiotherapy department needs volunteer... and i'm glad that i have been volunteered there... now i only understood to those who are so helpless or so difficult to even move a step... every word of encouragement or every concern that u show counts!
Another person that helped me was kwok yik and i must thank him too... thanks for accompanying me to hospital... and also during decision making... in the process of applying or removing cast...when i felt so horrible.. or the time when i felt so helpless, so disappointed, so tired and cried.. thanks for accompanying me... and buy me food, breads, biscuits... Betty's house became a place that he visited the most for that 3 weeks...Though sometimes seem he was forced to do sth, but eventually he did also.. haha.. funny!
I will appreciate this 3 week experience.. it made me miss my mom and dad so so much! It makes me understand how important of every single thing that we may neglect when we are healthy.
Like friends, family, love,the handicapped( it's really energy and strength consuming!), and God... until i couldnt walk, only i understand how good the feeling of “being able to walk" is!I finally know that actually i could take care of myself! Im actually quite independent. This is a golden experience of mine. Only me could understand how the feeling is and how strong i have to be!Of course this 3 week was not of all the happy and warm experiences, i did experience time when i feel so helpless, when i need help, and when i need somebody to console.But after everything has been over, and after u see that your friends to some extent are really really care of you, everything is ok and the warm feeling back again!
Thank God that i have overcome the hard time. And now except the bruises and little swelling... my leg is basically ok. And it is on its way of healing! Im sure very soon, i could RUN MANIPAL freely! After this “disaster” to me, i promise that i will take good care of myself.. and wont let myself to fall into such difficulty again! I would call my “Crutching days” an end! ( 23/3--9/4)
Specially thanks to BETTY , NATALIE, KWOK YIK. Except thousands and millions of
THANK YOU, i dont know what i could give... perhaps in the future if you all have any problem, i might be able to help you back!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!(big salute.. haha)

BYEBYE my friends..

Hey, leaving Malaysia tonight!!
Fot those friends that couldnt meet during this time..due to exam o overseas... im back again on 22nd august! confirmed!
all the best in malaysia...
i pray hard that my time in India will be as nice as it is in Malaysia!
jia you... gambateh..
friendship forever!

眼睛不能没眼泪

眼睛不能没眼泪
古巨基
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/267559ht.htm

微笑吧 容我把天真留下

相機證明曾經欣賞過大家

離去吧 忘記永久這童話

想找快樂何不飛奔抱住他

一起 開心 留下

不再 開心 由它

#願你記住 結束感情沒有罪

變心不是你不對

假使背著良心一起太傻女

願我記住 眼睛不能沒眼淚

只因沙石要洗去

真心愛人無非想她有人可 登對 #

明智地 無意對傷感迴避

犧牲我後才知心中有慈悲

麻痹地 忘記背影多明媚

相戀告別全因不想再自欺

想我 寬恕 傻話 心會 更改 無它

Re-(#)

再找安眠藥有罪 再不肯睡我不對

這麼偉大療傷不必靠藥水

無需寬恕 有新感情沒有罪

如果他這麼理想

別要 內疚心虛

強裝寬容就算累

你不安是我不對

不忍放下誰可找到最合適 伴侶

七友

梁汉文

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/5008ht.htm

为了她又再勉强去谈天论爱

又再振作去慰解他人

如难复合便尽早放开 凡事看开

又再讲没有情人时还可自爱

忘掉或是为自己感慨

笑住说沉沦那些苦海 会有害

#因为我坚强到利用自己的痛心 转换成爱心

抵我对她操心 已记不起我也有权利爱人

谁人曾照顾过我的感受

待我温柔吻过我伤口

能得到的安慰是失恋者得救后很感激忠诚的狗

谁人曾介意我也不好受

为我出头碰过我的手

重生者走得的都走

谁人又为天使忧愁

甜言蜜语没有但却有我这个好友

直到她又再告诉我重新被爱

又再看透了我的将来

完成任务后大可喝采 无谓搭台

别怪她就怪我永远难得被爱

然后自虐地赞她可爱

往日最彷徨那刻 好彩有我在

白雪公主不多 认命扮矮人的有太多个

早有六个 多我这个不多

我太好心还是太傻

未问过她有没有理我的感受

待我温柔吻过我伤口

能得到的安慰是失恋者得救后很感激忠诚的狗

谁人曾介意我也不好受

为我出头碰过我的手

重生者走得的都走

谁人又为天使忧愁

甜言蜜语没有但却有我这个好友

不舍得马来西亚！！

今天睡到下午一点多才起床:p
哼！ 如果不是因为楼上屋子装修把我吵醒，我可能还可以再睡呢！ 若每天有酱的生活多好。。。轻松自在！可惜好日子过两天就没了:( 我拜六就得启程了， 回印度。
其实我知道爸爸很不舍得把我送走。。今天他说：“不用紧啦，半年很快过。”我也希望回去后日子也不会想象中糟糕吧！总之凡事做最坏的打算，到时自然就觉得一切没想象差的话，自然开心啦！

今天去剪发，理发师是姐姐的朋友，问我要不要染。。我说我钱花完了。。没钱染发。。而且我颜色还有啦。。结果他打给姐姐，叫姐姐出钱给我染。。哈哈！幸好我头发短，染也比长的便宜。姐姐还叫他帮我染后做treatment... 然后我一分钱也没付，就酱的走出salon..哈哈。。没试过吧！因为姐姐叫他过后才跟她算。。他就跟我说酱的姐姐去哪里找。 哈哈。。说得也对啦，姐姐不吝啬，懂得赚也舍得花。。我在印度的生活费，甚至飞机票（可能宿舍也是）都是姐姐帮我付的。。我花钱，还花的很理所当然。。（我只知道跟很多朋友比，我幸运很多。上天对我真好。。）妈妈说不够就说，这次的生活费，买bank draft还任由我开价。。当然不会开太高啦。。姐姐说她经费也有限！哈哈。。只是宿舍这次要给一年的话，真是大笔钱！
其实我知道姐姐跟我一样，口硬心软型。什么她都买给我。。多贵都买（就算我没说要）。以后我有能力赚钱，希望也能报答她。至少跟她一起给爸爸妈妈好生活！

昨天哥哥打电话给我。说他现在在吉隆坡。。问我几时回去。。这次回来我没看到哥哥。。每次都有买衣服回来给他，这次衣服只能交给妈妈。因为这哥哥，除了为他买衣，我也不懂怎样关心他。。我以为他在新加坡。。他说若我要在KLIA待很久，他就来陪我。我说1小时而已。他说再看。其实听到哥哥的声音，还蛮想念他的。很想他来KLIA送我。。但我也没说啦。。因为哥哥就是酱，只会叫我小心，什么问题都不说的。或许他认为我还小吧！我们相差9年酱多！

妈妈今天把她上次开刀的伤口给我看。。可能愈合的不是很好，或妈妈常拿重的东西。。伤口那边有长肉。。医生说可以再做一次手术把伤口弄好。。妈妈最怕做手术了！又要她再一次。。我说没什么事就不用手术也不用紧。。因为也不是很明显。

说酱快一个月就过了！真不舍得离开爸爸妈妈。。我还没把他们看够！美食也还没吃完叻！因为他们常不在家。。我在家也是一个人而已。。所以才睡到下午才起床！哈哈。。希望回去印度的日子是开心的！无论如何，这次我决定了放弃旅行回到这里，觉得一切都很好！所有在家的，在吉隆坡的，云顶的，马六甲的。。我都会记得！回想起，还会有一丝丝笑意。。我不想把他们忘记！

坚持到底

坚持到底

阿杜

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/12ht.htm

在水里在火里

我的爱不偏不倚

就算时光倒回去

我也追到石器世纪

在风里在雨里

你的雨伞吹翻过去

我绝对毫不犹豫

为你披上我的外衣

是你让我看透生命这东西

四个字--坚持到底

如果没有你

我的生活回到一片狼藉

是你让我翻破爱情的秘笈

四个字--坚持到底

不管有多苦

我会全心全力爱你到底

我会全心全力坚持到底

当你看进我的眼里

我的心颤抖不已

请让温柔地说一句

感觉累了时候让我抱紧

给我一首歌的时间

周杰伦

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/278395ht.htm

雨停下了天空

毀得更講究

妳說妳不懂 為何在這時牽手

我曬乾了沉默 悔得很衝動

就算這是做錯 也只是怕錯過

在一起叫 夢～

分開了叫 痛～

是不是說 沒有走完的夢最痛～

迷路的後 果～

我能承受 這最後的出口在愛過了才有

能不能給我一首歌的時間

緊緊的把那擁抱變成永遠

在我的懷裡妳不用害怕失眠

哦如果妳想忘記我也能失憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間

把故事聽到最後才說再見

妳送我的眼淚 讓它留在雨天

哦越過妳劃的心我定了勇氣 的終點雨

雨淋湿了天空 毀得更讲究

妳說妳不懂 我為何在這時牽手

我曬乾了沉默 悔得很衝動

就算這是做錯 也只是怕錯過

在一起叫 夢～

分開了叫 痛～

是不是說 沒有做完的夢最痛～

迷路的後 果～

我能承受 這最後的出口在愛過了才有

能不能給我一首歌的時間

緊緊的把那擁抱變成永遠

在我的懷裡妳不用害怕失眠

哦如果妳想忘記我也能失憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間

把故事聽到最後才說再見

妳送我的眼淚 讓它留在雨天

哦越過妳劃的心我定了勇氣 的終點雨

哦妳說我不該不該 不該在這時候說了我愛妳

要怎麼證明我沒有说谎的力氣

哦請告訴我 暫停算不算放棄 我只有一天的回憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間

緊緊的把那擁抱變成永遠

在我的懷裡妳不用害怕失眠

哦如果妳想忘記我也能失憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間

把故事聽到最後才說再見

妳送我的眼淚 讓它留在雨天

哦越過妳劃的心我定了勇氣 的終點雨

Rap：妳說我不該不該 不該在這時說了愛妳 要怎麼證明我沒有力氣 告訴我暫停算不算放棄 妳說我不該不該 不該在這時才說愛妳 要怎麼證明我沒有力氣 我只有一天的回憶

小酒窝

小酒窝
林俊杰 feat蔡卓妍
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/281089ht.htm
男：我还在寻找
一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷 替我烦恼
为我生气为我闹

女：幸福开始有预兆
缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了
无聊变得有话聊 有变化了

<合>小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
女：我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
男：我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
合：终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老

女：幸福开始有预兆
缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了
无聊变得有话聊 有变化了
<合>小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
女：我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要 有了你生命完整的刚好

合：小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
男：我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
合：终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
男：我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
合：终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老

听--哲式情歌

张信哲

1。别怕我伤心

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/100333ht.htm

好久没有你的信

好久没有人陪我谈心

怀念你柔情似水的眼睛

是我天空最美丽的星星

异乡的午夜特别冷清

一个男人和一颗热切的心

不知在远方的你

是否能感应

我从来不敢给你任何诺言

是因为我知道我们太年轻

你追求的是一种浪漫感觉

还是那不必负责任的热情

心中的话到现在才对你表明

不知道你是否会因此而清醒

让身在远方的我

不必为你担心

一颗爱你的心

时时刻刻为你转不停

我的爱也曾经

深深温暖你的心灵

你和他之间

是否已经有了真感情

别隐瞒 对我说

别怕我伤心

2。不要对他说

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/100348ht.htm

选在清晨时分走出你家的巷口

看着昨天擦肩而过

未熄灭的街灯问我到底告别了什麽

当我失去你那眼中美丽的温柔

当你决定就此放手

我的生命之中再也没有剩下些什麽

除了沉默

陪你到日出

把你看清楚

哭得累了的你看来睡得好无辜

在你耳边轻轻说出最後的要求

不要对他说出一样的话

不要对他说

夜里会害怕

别说你多晚都会等他的电话

别说你只喜欢他送的玫瑰花

因为这些是我仅有残留的梦

不要对他说

一样的话语

不要对他说你总是爱的太忧郁

别说你最渴望他能为你而淋雨

我愿忍受折磨

独自去拥有曾经的温柔

不要对他说...

不要对他说...

3。从开始到现在（冬季恋歌主题曲）

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/15429ht.htm

（口白）

你真的忘的了你的初戀情人嗎

假如有一天 你遇到了跟他長得一模一樣的人

他真的就是他嗎　還有可能嗎

這是命運的寬容

還是另一次不懷好意的玩笑

如果這是最好的結局

為何我還忘不了你

時間改變了我們告別了單純

如果重逢也無法繼續

失去才算是永恆

懲罰我的認真是我太過天真

難道我就這樣過我的一生

我的吻註定吻不到最愛的人

為你等從一開始盼到現在

也同樣落的不可能

難道愛情可以轉交給別人

但命運註定留不住我愛的人

我不能我怎麼會願意承認

你是我不該愛的人

如果再見是為了再分

失去才算是永恆

已死心的記憶為何還要再生

難道我就這樣過我的一生

我的吻註定吻不到最愛的人

為你等從一開始盼到現在

也同樣落的不可能

難道愛情可以轉交給別人

但命運註定留不住我愛的人

我不能我怎麼會願意承認

你是我不該愛的人

拿什麼作證　

從未想過愛一個人

需要那麼殘忍才證明愛的深

難道我就這樣過我的一生

我的吻註定吻不到最愛的人

為你等從一開始盼到現在

也同樣落的不可能

難道愛情可以轉交給別人

但命運註定留不住我愛的人

我不能我怎麼會願意承認

你是我愛錯了的人

海啸袭击

Today heard my uncle talked about tsunami... they said so dangerous to buy condo by seaside(coz Penang has a lot , 填海建的）..this reminded me about tsunami that attacked thailand, india, indonesia, even Penang... also had more than 40 people died. haiz... what is fated is fated!

海啸
歌手:庾澄庆
专辑:海啸
曲:汤小康 词:许常德 编: jamie wilson
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/13604ht.htm

史无前例一场风暴
用飓风在预告
将无情侵袭孤岛
你已投入他的怀抱
我忽然感觉到
只能呼吸一秒
麻木地瞧 大家在逃
生命对我已经不重要
发风浪涛 撕碎煎熬
能轰轰烈烈心碎也好

海啸我要知道
她服了什么药
怎能瞬间 将我换掉
连尸骨都让我找不到

海啸你知不知道
我对她多么好
如果爱情不能到老
你也应该给我一秒
一秒去忘掉

情非得已
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/69755ht.htm
難以忘記初次見你　
一雙迷人的眼睛
在我腦海裡　
你的身影　揮散不去

握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔
真的有點透不過氣　
你的天真　我想珍惜
看到你失意，我会伤心 (看到你受委屈　我會傷心)

只怕我自己会爱上你　
不敢讓自己靠的太近
怕我沒什麼能夠給你　
爱你也许要很大的勇气

只怕我自己会爱上你　
也許有天會情不自禁
想念只讓自己苦了自己　
愛上你是我情非得已
愛上你是我情非得已

什麼原因　
我竟然又會遇見你
我真的真的不願意　
就這樣陷入愛的陷阱

在马来西亚

这是我最后几天在大马的时间了！:( 我迟一天才离开。。看似有点赶，应该还好吧！因为这次在manipal不必搬家，少很多工。
这几个星期在马来西亚，哈哈！算是开心吧！除了第一个星期常在家少外出，闷了点之外，其他时间倒是蛮充实的！
第二星期离开槟城去吉隆坡三天，马六甲两天。。一连5天在南马，很充实啊！真的很开心！ 见了一些旧朋友，大家都没变！疼我的还是酱疼，爱作弄我的照样的酱鬼马！这次有改变，但我现在不太想说 :p

第三星期，在槟呆几天后，我又去了云顶+ 吉隆坡！ 哈哈。。。云顶去了一天半而已，在吉坡玩玩才回。。。 在云顶没玩很多，但玩了space shot! 无憾了！ 哈哈！在吉隆坡，先在michelle 家休息一晚，谢谢她为我买的晚餐！第二天去玩了。。 ky带我，去了我没去过的几个mall,在 Sungei Wang 还意外地遇到ASTRO 新秀大赛造势活动，第一次看到主持人Janson。还有新秀5强！哈哈！知道啦,看明星本来就是我的最爱！虽然他们不是什么大明星，但真的第一次很很很。。。靠近的看到本人哦！不枉此行！过后还去了吉隆坡塔玩Menara Kuala Lumpur...很久没上了，六年级到现在。。。看夜景。觉得KL跟槟城最大的差别是，从高处望，一望无际的都是陆地，我相信若我家那边也有个槟城塔，哈哈！ 一定可以看到陆地延伸变一望无际的大海，透过望远镜，可能还可以看到一对对小情侣正在打情骂俏！反正在槟城，海边就是其中一个拍拖的好地点！新/旧关直角，或tanjung bungah, batu ferrigghi的海滩。。看到情侣有什么稀奇？可能还可以看到外国人穿bikini晒太阳呢！所以槟岛也应该有酱的塔！哈哈。。

其实这次回家，虽然错过了跟朋友们在INDIA玩，但我也没后悔。不是说我不在乎他们啦，只是忍得好辛苦才考完试，真的真的很想念爸爸妈妈。。。想念妈妈煮的菜，喜欢看爸爸妈妈老夫老妻了还打情骂俏，喜欢看爸爸嫌妈妈像大象酱坐在他脚上（我其实觉得老了还像刚拍拖酱，很可爱！）也喜欢爸爸一回家全身臭臭脏脏的也要来抱我头亲我额头（我还坏坏的说别害我生pimples 不美）。。还有喜欢看妈妈看完我吃完饭，还怕我吃不饱似的为我弄东又弄西（我就会喊：我很胖了！）。。。唯一不喜欢的就是回到来，是人都讲我胖了！果然没错， 谁说去印度是受苦的？我还胖了回来，真是。。。haiz。。。。都不懂我该怎么才会瘦。吃少点我也懂，但就是经不起诱惑！我觉得是家庭遗传（DNA），如果我硬要赖说因为槟城是美食天堂，所以槟城人都爱吃。又不见得个个槟城人都酱肥！但我相信迟些我工作忙，一定会瘦的！我会证明给那些说我瘦不了的人看！哈哈。。 但不是现在。。我知道我空闲，爱吃:p
这次回来也听了一些歌，新旧歌。。有空才分享吧！！可是还有几天就离开了，我好舍不得哦！！！！！！！！

I never had a dream come true

NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE
S CLUB 7
http://www.imeem.com/marge88/music/eDbQdOgY/s-club-7-never-had-a-dream-come-true/

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you know

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my babyI never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you

BE A FIGHTER!

YOU, BE A FIGHTER!
CHRISTINA AGUILERA
http://www.imeem.com/dredec15/music/9y2pJZZ-/christina-aguilera-fighter/
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable
I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohhNever, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before
I realized your gameI heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame'
Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Currently in Malacca!

In Sin Siuew's house!!
yeah.... Erm, this week "very full", i mean schedule... because i left penang and went down to KL and Malacca...
Thanks friends like Michelle and Sin Siuew for providing accomodation! haha....
Michelle( my IMU friend), erm.. some more curi-curi bring me into IMU! Yeah.. 1st time i went in IMU le.. so excited! So excited till i forgot that i not yet eat much since morning and i was not feeling hungry at all! hehe.. till night 9 sth only i ate dinner.... and for these few days thanks ky for transport and everything... accompany me shopping also movie oh...This time in KL he accompany me the most... :) Because none of my old friends have holidays, have to study oh...no choice la...
Talking about my experience in IMU... Michelle brought me to her library... also their anatomy museum. erm.. we should cherish our dissection hall and our anatomy museum!! they only have very limited real specimen.. ( can see cannot touch),all others are models. Our anatomy really learnt in a very very detailed way... at least we MUST learn and remember everything. I taught her a bit about their "musculoskeletal system", aka sth like muscles and bones.. she said very inspiring:) I told her im ok only, still got more geng 1, they are more inspiring! i think my manipal friends know whom i refer to lar right? That day also ngam ngam they have performance from newest batch junior( just reached 1 week)..their juniors have to perform( senior guide them).. but for us is different, seniors have to perform instead... lol...Anyway, 1st time i entered IMU really feel excited and happy la!!! Everything of them is in 1 campus... not like us also... lecture hall is lecture hall, library is library... anyway, i feel our library is very very nice!! their accomodation is not bad also la.... (except they cannot have specimens and bones like us lo).
This is a new experience of mine staying in KL... very leisure, relax and enjoy,free!! because im alone only.. wanna go where then go where... ask friends out.can wear nicely. not like last time... very rush! plus this time i need not stay in hotel, stay with Michelle.. she felt im entertaining... i felt the same too( i mean she also entertaining la) .. lol!!
In KL from monday to wednesday, then i straight go malacca.. around 2.5 hours to reach sentral. a bit jam in KL. then sin siuew took me. to her house, to dataran pahlawan, and today to MMMC, going for a movie at Mahkota Parade also.( now online using her laptop;p). 2 silly girls,talk talk talk and laugh laugh laugh till we slept.. and woke up talk talk laugh laugh again.. this kind of life also very leisure ah! so wish i have life like i was in KL everyday and need not go back Manipal. Just play only...:p
tomorrow will be back to penang from malacca.. there is no bus company offer direct from malacca to penang. all at least stop at 2 stations to drop passengers. last time we used to avoid that by going to KL Puduraya 1st. but due to next monday is Hari Haji, public hols. even in malacca also very hard to buy ticket back to penang. not to say in KL. sure all full 1...( i would take last time when i was trapped in KL during pilihan raya as a lesson!!) haha... anyway, at the end i manage to get tickets... so ok dy... but have to go back to penang be sleeping monster... dont know what to do again...haiz...
( Also my manipal friends.. going to travel one... all i dont know where they have been.. lol.. i didnt sms them they also never sms me! Miss them ma!)

一公升的眼泪

这里每天傍晚都下雨。。很大很大的雨。。。
以前在印度。。好几个月没看过酱的大雨了。。。也好。。因为那边下雨很麻烦。。。淋湿了就很不舒服。。。
今天我把11集的戏看完了。。一部我在印度就想看的戏。“一公升的眼泪”-- 摘自真人真事，描述一个不幸染上绝症的女生--SCD(Spinocerebellar disease) ... 十五岁发病，25岁逝世。。。一般来说SCD50岁才发病。。对她来说，会不会早了一些？这种病没有根治的方法，就只能一直一直的恶化下去。。。小脑（cerebellum)的细胞渐渐坏死。。。　motor function 只会变得越来越差。。从一开始走路摇晃跌倒。。到最后渐渐地不能步行，不能写字，不能说话，吞咽困难，每一个对常人来说都很容易的事，对病患者来说变得十分吃力。好可怜＋好折磨人的病魔。。就像AIDS一样。。治不好:(
haiz...在印度每天觉得生活可怜，没人关心没人疼爱。。但至少我能跑能跳，来去自如。。。我行我素。。。吃得饱又睡得好（虽然我想再多睡一点）。比起很多人我该知足了吧？　到底少了什么？
在家，到底少了什么？　少了一辆可以让我出入自由的车。。虽然每天睡１２小时，总觉得自己怎么睡都还是累。。无精打采。。很憔悴。。不美。太空闲了吧？　或许这才是真正的休息吧？
还是哭太多了？哈哈。。看戏哭太多了！哭总让人觉得累。。。不懂为什么？要是怎么哭都不累就好了。。因为我真的很爱哭的！;P
很想好好利用假期的时间，和喜欢自己的、珍惜自己的人好好一起过。。让他开心一点。。。但却有点不懂该如何是好。我或许并没有那么可爱。。不懂哄人开心。。没用。
唉，我累了。。。还想做很多东西。。做生日卡片给重要的朋友。。我一定会做到！现在。。　哈哈！想去睡觉！

Life in Penang--GASH

GASH-- Gurney, Astro, Sleep, Home...(what i have done here)
i read my pervious post, wow....i everyday just thought of going home in india! really miss home....
At home, i am back like a little princess.."mama, i want a cup of milo!"
Oh my God... why am i so lazy?! In fact, my mom's milo is the most tasty for me! i really miss that in India!!:p and what my mom cook is what i cant taste in india! feel like i have to sacrifice any trip in india.... dont know... I everyday sleep till---earliest 10am, latest.. erm.. can be 12pm. so far is like that:p
At home? haha... be a lazy worm ba! this is why i want to come back home... here got people sayang me...my dad and mom treat me like a little baby...haiz.. actually they cant spoil me like this...
i have no car... no freedom to go out like before... and most of my friends have left penang for studies... overseas, pahang, KL,Kedah(aimst)....anywhere... haiz... even got friends still in penang... i have no car... anyway, i have astro and internet accompany me.. astro on demand has become my best friend. lol... anyway, after i left, my dad wanna stop this package d. because only im watching. my sister bought a new house( a condo) in tanjung bungah. I have gone there... very nice! quite big. she has a separate room specially to load her clothes.. haha.. this is like what i have seen in other ppl's house...the 衣橱 just as long as the wall....haha... nvm lar, she could make money, she should be able to spend.
Next week i will leave for KL... unfortunately only i have holidays... friends.. near exam all these things, anyway..just go KL and meet them at least talk a while:p haiz.. FREE PEOPLE ARE MEANT FOR KACAU-ING OTHE PEOPLE LAR... lol... erm.. i know my friends miss me too ba?!! lol...
1 thing... i found that my gastric wind not yet recovered oh... in fact, i dont eat much... ( because i want to lose weight lar...) dont know.. because i saw chocolate that my sister bought in langkawi :0 so 难忍ah!! Haiz... everybody said i became fatter...my thighs also became fatter le... a bit lar:( last time also same!!! so hard to lose weight meh!! :(
aiyo.. indian meal very big ma... and hungry i cant study.... what to do? suan le ba! happy enough!
I wonder how my friends have been in india. Just now i message Qi yuan. he said they have gone to mumbai, now heading for Jaipur. erm.. i dont know all these places... but i know they will enjoy themselves 1 lar... luckily i came back not going with them... because.. i no mood to play... be at home better!

听说爱情回来过

听说爱情回来过
蔡依林
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/129413ht.htm
OS： 愛是一種需要 一種缺乏 所以我們都喜歡情歌
不管愛在進行中 還是仍未萌芽
不管你愛他比較多 還是他愛你比較多
愛或被愛 其實 都是一種喜悅

在朋友那兒聽說
痴心的你曾回來過
想請他替我向你問候
只為了怕見了說不出口
你對以往的感觸還多不多
曾讓我心碎的你
我依然深愛著

在朋友那兒聽說
知心的你曾找過我
我要他幫我對你隱瞞
只是怕見了面會更難過
我對以往的感觸還那麼多
曾給我幸福的你
我依然深深愛著

有一種想見不敢見的傷痛
有一種愛還埋藏在我心中
我只能把你 放在我的心中

這一種想見不敢見的傷痛
讓我對你的思念越來越濃
我卻只能把你 把你放在我心中
(只能把你 把你放在我心中)

對你的聲音 你的影 你的手
我發誓說我沒有忘記過
而關於你選擇了現在的他
我只能說我有些難過
我也真心真意的等過

Can i rewind?

Uni result released..
was it too fast? i was still sleeping...like a thunderstorm to me when i woke up.
they said i got distinction for anatomy. only 4 ppl got.... i'm one of them.... 1 friend said "i so proud of u..." but should i proud of myself?
another 2 subjects, more ppl got disctinction but mine fly away... i know i didnt do well during viva.. simple things i cant answer... so did anatomy... i thought all flied away...dont know why i got a D. dont know why i could be 1 of them... may be they pity me? Why not they pity other ppl who need a P more than mine just a D?
in fact, im not happy at all.... not because i lost 2D for physio and biochem...it's because 2 friends have 2 separate...i could throw away my only D... if this world ever exists "exchange basis"...this is what i could not control... or should i blame myself too?! what did i scare for? what should i have stressed for? at the end i found i scared of losing a friend more than everything....
medicine medicine medicine....before starting, i told my friend if i dont study this, i dont know what i could study...
now 1st year over.... how many times i have cried in manipal? it was countless! 1st year over.. it's just 1/5... i still have 4 years...after i started, only know everything is not easy...
esp for a spoiled child like me, leaving home for the 1st time, some more to india manipal.. so rural it is..lol... in fact,this is a real environment for us to study... because u have nothing else to do.. except SEX(sleep, eat, exercise)+ STUDY. haiz...
i really speechless.... i just worry and worry about future....
may be i think too much... time can tell everything... pls, my friend(s), JIA YOU!

Wait---For HONEYmoon

Finished 3 theory papers...
left practicals and may be "VIVA" if im qualified ( a section that your "nervous system will be really nervous", the examiners are devil... they want to snatch away your distinction provided you are really geng and your brain is full of content!otherwise, even u got distinction for theory, your distinction may just fly away after coming out from viva... ) lol....
ERM.... distinction here is "very expensive", it is not "cheap"...lol..heh. Imagine how many sweats, tears, blood, RBC,ATP and beauty you have to satisfied for a "D". im really lack of ATP, but i will try my best if im qualified.

These few days... i never slept for 4-5 hours a day(though i know some of my friends may feel a lot) before... i really tired! exam so many days...never been 1 day i feel im really healthy:(
the worst was physio paper--- halfway doing the paper, i feel my world start circulating... i dare not look up... even i look down on the question paper...i so scared that i read wrongly... i already forgot what i wrote in fact..haha.. i hope it's ok.
sitting for biochem, i feel sick and feel like vomitting for the whole day b4 exam... cant really concentrate.. Gas from stomach( fundic gas) accumulates like that... come out thru mouth.. so sien! suffer:( may be food too oily, may be im tired... may be i drink coffee... may be lack exercise... i dont know..haiz...even during exam, still like that:( suffocating but what to do? cant let all this things distract my attention for these critical few hours! though to some extent which i cant control, it did. i lost good health for this stressful uni exam:(

seeing back how i did my papers... i know i can pass. But because the portion is too wide, not to say the portion which i have no time to finish revising or even glance thru, even those part that i have read, honestly i read once only! so... memory is not complete... many minor mistakes i made... haha... the examiner once read, sure know this person never memorise well! lol... esp anatomy :p
So to be qualified of a VIVA, im not sure.... if i can go, i will go... ( i hope i wont be sad like block 4 viva:p i hope i can be immuned if i am asked questions that i dont know how to answer...) lol

another thing is i really wait for my honeymoon in malaysia! i hope this is really a honeymoon! and im sure many friends awaiting me to come back one... lol!! :P :)
here i announce that: I WILL REACH PENANG BY 21ST AFTERNOON(strictly this month only:( ). lol.. but no kacau me on that day, because i want to sleep sleep sleep... restore my beautiful face! (haha... lol.. actually i really need to sleep la!!!so tired! lol...)

No music i cant study:p

我不后悔--郑源
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/114637ht.htm

说好了不回头不想承诺
缘份尽了你别过头
如果还有什么值得我逗留
我想是你爱过我
只是路无尽头
都是路过什么感受我能带走
眼泪可以不流
心碎不能救
看我能否得自由
当我松开你的手
一些风沙哽住眼眸
爱你最后一幕却模糊带过
不让疼痛有路追究
我不后悔我曾爱过
只是天涯从此寂寞
远去的渡口彼岸的灯火
人在河流继续漂泊
我不后悔被你爱过
只是不能爱到最后
短暂的幸福
拥有就足够

只要舍得就会快乐会快乐

王力宏
心跳
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/305184ht.htm

想跟我吵架 我沒那麼無聊
不懂得道歉 我沒那麼聰明
好想要回到我們的原點
你又在哭泣 我給不了安慰
我又在搖頭 有那麼點后悔
愛情的發展已難以回頭卻無法往前走
但身不由己出現在胸口 兩顆心能塞幾個問號
愛讓我們流多少眼淚
你的眼神充滿美麗帶走我的心跳
你的溫柔如此靠近帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光到一開始 能不能給一秒
等著哪一天你也想起
那懸在記憶中的美好

I want to go home.......

Really want to go home...
Now so suffering lar...
i know i have to study fast and as much as possible because no many days left...
but im so so so so slow.... haiz...
I worry about block 1 and 2... really worry!@@
Why i cant concentrate?!
PMS? no lar...
Holidays mood? may be...
CNY? donno...
I also dont know...
I found very suffering bcause when i suppose to concentrate and study... im not doing my resposibility well..
i really angry of myself!
and i so sleepy everyday.... i want to sleep sleep sleep for 12 hours everyday!!
look so " cham " now lar..
Go home drink N-O( bird nest,:P), use SK-II, and sleep sleep for 12 hours, of course, stay happy and go shopping everyday!!! I MUST RESTORE MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!
(haha... if u feel geli then you treat as if im kidding lar. lol!!!!)
in fact, im really kidding lar, SK-II wor... you thought im Sammi Cheng or "Hu Xing Er"(the HK TVB star. forgot her name dy:p)... so expensive! But when 1 day if i really become a doctor and can make my own money, then different case lar! haha...
( erm.... i dream again.... :p and too far.. )
Go back to studies lar!!!! Not yet sit for exam already thinking of going home and sleep! lol!!
But still... i dont know how to make myself concentrate!! haiz.... :l

Mood is heavy.....

Study break study break break break break...... :(((
It's so nice i wish to have a break... WHY have to study??
Uni exam is coming soon!
mood is heavy heavy heavy, like my body also heavy heavy heavy (ceh, i want to lose weight!!!!)
Overall I FEEL IM SO HEAVY!!! :(
Actually i feel heavy because im worried of sth...no no.. many things!!
And i feel like now i study in such a slow pace... when exam is near, i sure panicked....
Now look back block 1 notes... MESSY!!! haiz.. dont know how to face them...block 2? i not yet open, but i sure also very gai one...
I cant finish whatever that i planned to study on that day...
everyday things accumulate....
i cant utilise 1 whole day to study well...
like today, after anat revision, feel that im just duo4 luo4 in my room....till finally i couldnt bear anymore... and come out....
after coming back to india this september, i have already been leading a totally different lifestyle compared to how i previously led, it is not easy.... and i have passed over for so many days... so many months..........
I CAN DO IT@@!!! still less than 3 weeks left.
i CAN STAY ON!!!!!
i cant be so fragile, i want to be as tough as a metal steel!

And friend pls try your best!!!! this is our last chance!!!NEVER GIVE UP! hope is there awaiting...fate will smile upon us.

说好的 幸福呢 ?

This is a new song sent to me by kt.. But without seeing the lyrics... I couldnt get his blurred speech lar! :p
anyway, this is a nice song!

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始的不快乐
你用卡片手写着 有些爱只给到这 真的懂了
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着 你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢

你的回話凌亂著
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始的不快乐 你用卡片手写着 有些爱只给到这
真的懂了 怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着 你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢

叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。

叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。一篇很老很旧的文章...但，很感动很感动...

~~树~~
高中三年交过五个女朋友，有 一个女孩子，我很爱她，却迟迟不敢追，她没有美丽的面孔，没有姣好的身材，没有撩人的魅力，一个再平凡不过的女孩子。我喜欢她，真的真的很喜欢她，喜欢她 的单纯，她的直率，她的可爱，她的脆弱。不追她的原因，也许是潜意识觉得平凡如她配不上我；也许是因为怕在一起后，一切好感都会消失；也许是怕外人的指指 点点伤害了她；也许是觉得，她会是我的，不急着为了她而放弃一切。最后这个原因，让她陪了我三年，让她看着我和别的女孩子厮混了三年，让她心痛了三年。她很想当一个好演员，但我却像一个严苛的导演。
我 和第二个女朋友在厕所接吻，被她撞见，她尴尬的笑笑说：「Go on！」然后跑掉，第二天，她眼睛肿得像核桃 一样，我故意不去猜想是谁让她哭成这样，嘲笑了她一天，她在所有人都回家后，在教室哭了起来，她不知道练球回来拿东西的我，看了她一个多小时。我的第四个 女朋友，一直很不喜欢她，有次她们两个吵了起来，我知道依她的个性不会去惹事，但我还是护着女朋友，她被我吼了一下后，愣住，眼泪滑了下来，我无视她的眼 泪，陪女友走出教室，第二天，她依旧嘻嘻哈哈的和我开玩笑，我知道她很难过，但她不会知道我的心不比她好受。
当我和第五个女朋友分手时，我约她出 去玩，玩了一天，我对她说：「我有事要对妳说。」她说：「真巧，我也有事要对你说。」「我和她分手了。」「我和他在一起了。」我知道「他」是谁，他追她也 有一阵子了，是个蛮可爱的男孩子，活泼有趣，充满了热情，追她追得满城风雨。我不能表现自己的心痛，只能笑笑地恭喜她，但当我回到家，心中的痛楚强烈得令 我无法承受，像有个千斤重的石头压在我胸口，我无法呼吸，想大叫却叫不出来，眼泪竟然滑了下来，我掩面大哭，多少次，我也看着她为了那个不愿承认的人掩面 大哭。毕业典礼时，我在手机上发现了一封简讯，这是十天前，我掩面大哭时传来的，只是我一直没有去开过机。「叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留」???

~~叶子~~
高中时，喜欢搜集叶子，why？因为我觉得，一片叶子要离开它长期依赖的树好勇敢哩！我喜欢他，也知道他喜欢我，可是，他为什么总是不追我呢？明明喜欢彼此，为什么不行动？每 当他交一个女朋友，我就心痛一次，一次又一次的打击，让我不禁怀疑，是我一厢情愿吗？不爱我，为什么要对我那么好？他对我的好，已经不是普通朋友可以做 到。喜欢一个人，好难过，我可以清楚的知道他的喜好，他的习惯，唯独他对我的感觉，我猜不透，难道要我这个女孩子去开口吗？
尽管如此，我还是想在 他身边，关心他，陪他，爱他，也许算是一种等待的行为，等待他回来爱我，就像每天晚上等他的电话，等他的简讯，我知道，就算他再忙，也会拨出一些时间给 我。这样的等待，陪了我三年，等待是难熬的，是令人想放弃的，但等到的那一剎那，让人第二天会继续等下去。这样的煎熬，这样的痛苦，这样的幸福，这样的矛 盾，陪了我三年。
直到三年级下学期，高二一个学弟喜欢上我，每天的热情追求，令我从一开始的拒绝，渐渐愿意挪出我心房的一些位置给他。他像一阵温 柔而持久的风，撩拨我这片摇摇欲坠的叶子，到最后，我发现我已经不想只留一点点的位置给这阵风，我知道这阵风，会带我这片伤痕累累的叶子，到更幸福的地 方。于是我离开了树，树只是笑笑，没有挽留。「叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。」???

~~风~~
因为我喜欢的女孩子叫叶子，因为她有一棵令她依恋的树，所以我要当一阵风，一阵呵护她的风。
第 一次看见她，是高二我转来一个月后的事，个子小小的她坐在球场旁，一双眼凝视着同和我在球场的学长，每天的社团时间，她总会坐在那里，一个人，和朋友，她 的眼光依旧凝视着他，当他和女孩子打打闹闹，她的眼中有泪，当他看向她，她的眼中有笑。看她成了我的习惯，就像她爱看他。有一天她没来，我心中没来由的焦 虑与不安，我无法解释那种感觉，除了不安，还是不安，而且那学长竟然也不在。我冲去他们教室，躲在外面，看着学长骂她，她的眼泪，他的离去。
第二天，她依旧坐在场边，看着他，我走过去，对她笑一笑，拿了张纸条给她，她先是惊讶的看着我，然后笑笑地收下。隔天，她拿着纸条出现在我面前，然后离开。
「叶子的心太沉重，风吹不动。」
[不是叶子的心太沉重，是叶子根本就不想离开树。」
我 回给她这段话后，她渐渐会和我说话，收我的礼物，接我的电话。我知道她喜欢的不是我，但我还是有毅力一定要让她喜欢上我，四个月内我告白了不下20次，每 一次她都转移话题，但我还是不会放弃，我决定要的人，我就一定会给它追过来！一直到不知道第几次的告白，出了口，虽然知道她一定会又说到别的事，但还是有 一丝丝希望她的答应，没想到她都不说话，「妳在干嘛？怎么不说话？」我对着话筒说。「我在点头。」「啊？」我不敢相信自己的耳朵。「我在点头！」她大声 叫。我甩掉电话，匆匆披上一件衣服，上了机车，冲去她们家按门铃，当她开门的那一剎那，紧紧抱住她。「叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。???

PP=piggies in my family

Erm.. seem we are getting more and more busy now... I should not write so long..haha...
Well, yesterday was my beloved mom birthday! How old is she? SECRET!! SHE'S FOREVER YOUNG! :)

I talked to her joked to her...
said Why she delivered such a piggy child? She laughed:) Good to listen to mama's laughters!
I told her recently i could even SIT on chair with books open and SLEEP! for 1-2 hours like that.. and wake up in the late night or even midnight 1 or 2 am .. TERKEJUT! haha...
Well, yesterday conversation with mom made me think back of many things..
like during my sister college's life... THE DAY B4 EXAM, she told me she wanted to study, asking me DONT DISTURB HER... after 1 hour, i purposely knocked the door and entered the room, wanted to disturb her:p But instead of seeing her study, i saw another scene---- She was sleeping so nicely on the bed!!! Well, in fact i was not surprised at all!!! because.... most of the time once she opened book she would start yawning... and sleeping was what you could expect eventually...(i wonder how she passed exam??) My brother even worse, need not any book to stimulate his sleepiness...Just look at the bed he will start yawning! My brother has an amazing lifestyle, minus the time i saw him working , watching tv or hanging out or clubbing, THE REST OF HIS LIFE IS JUST SLEEPING!

My dad and my mom.... haha... go anywhere sleep anywhere... except when they are working... but cant blame them!! Because they too tired dy...
And this property that "inherited" in my family---- No matter where we go insomnia will never happen ... erm....perhaps this related to my dad's occupation? haha....

I have to go against this inherited property of mine--- i use coffee....
sometimes it works, sometimes nope..
but unfortunately, im not the one who can take up caffeine..... tremor is one of my "symptoms".. this is involuntary... plus i feel scared all the time, tremor makes me even more scared...
But what to do? if i don take coffee, i will be like my sister---- open book, sleep... Play? very conscious!~!!!! haha....

Song collection---美丽之最

美丽之最
曲 编:李汉文(on your mark)词:夏至监:侧田(on your mark)
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/123686ht.htm

手愿意捐给你拓著头
做你的安枕刚好足够
望你的天真可以永久
眼看你半世还未够
喜欢你的眉头哪怕皱起始终清秀

在某天未发展在某间咖啡店
尚记起坐你后面习惯守望半天
望你从来都温暖想一生看下去
还会等一天八十岁看你发端灰色的点缀
未来只有乐趣和你去拖手看新居
双眼开始像饮醉尤如观星你在这里
我的双眼里寻找到宇宙之最

心像太专心看你在忙
望你不施脂粉多好看
自信坦率多可爱眼光
你碰上挫折仍硬朗不沮丧不旁徨
看你斗心多黱凶悍

但你竟用决心任意放弃所有
独个走我要殿后视线跟著你走
直到你放开所有想一生看下去
还会等一天八十岁看你发端灰色的点缀
未来只有乐趣天真追我所追
只怕始终未登对仍然想讲我第一句
我的双眼里寻找到美丽之最

说过爱你要接受意外总要挑战障碍比赛
最怕看见你抱著决心离开
说过要与你赤道看海更说永远爱你未变改
等著你目光未会离开等你回我身边继续回味
眼里每种温馨好滋味未来只看著你微笑中
班点会皱起得我始终望穿你
仍然想讲最后一句
我的双眼里寻找到美丽之最

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

1st time celebrating xmas outstation!
1st time living for more than 9 month in india!
my 2008 was a special year because so many things happened in this single year:)

this year has changed me from knowing nothing at all about human body-- till now knowing everything from head to toe( PROVIDING I REMEMBER!)..
haha... BE CAREFUL friends... i m going to play on you when i come back malaysia! test your muscles and joints and your reflexes... Blekz.... some more can tell you a lot of funny funny things:)

another thing is I really found that our ANATOMY is very cool la... think no medical schools in malaysia study anat so thoroughly like us! Thanks to our specimens.... and bodies.. Thanks them for sacrifying and let us study!
But 1 thing is i dont get to celebrate CNY in malaysia... Donno what's the feeling of celebrating cny without angpau?? some more gotta face exam! haiz... nvm, we got 1 group of playful and diligent chinese gang here! sure we will have our own FUN!! lol!!!

"CAN YOU FEEL MY WORLD"

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/11060ht.htm
王力宏

你只喜欢我微笑 你决定我的需要
我要怎样说才好 我不是为你制造
关心像是泥沼 拉着我往下掉
爱是漂亮口号 透过你的视角
你把我的喜好 随便删掉
变成你要的调调
你为我好 我知道 我都知道
我的烦恼 我的骄傲 你却不明了
怎样爱你才好 毕竟黑豹 需要自由奔跑
(不能满足于拥抱)
can you feel my word
真实的我没办法伪造
Can You Take My Hands
真诚你会感觉到
can you feel my word
真实的我没办法伪造
并不想讨好 你才觉得我重要
(我一点都不重要)
你只要我有礼貌 其它假装看不到
我要怎么说才好 当我的情绪低潮
关心像是泥沼 拉着我往下掉
爱是漂亮口号 透过你的视角
你把我的喜好 随便删掉
变成你要的调调
你为我好 我知道 我都知道
我的烦恼 我的骄傲 你却不明了
怎样爱你才好 毕竟黑豹 需要自由奔跑
(I keep comin'''' back for more)
日日夜夜我闭着双眼祈祷
为什么只有我的音乐能够让我依靠
我知道我的世界已经变得越来越小
跑不掉逃不了
怎么面带着微笑 怎么面对着你才好
怎么眼泪都在掉 怎么嘴嘟着好严肃
这不是哭着就好
什么旋律在我的脑袋一直转一直绕
意志力一直撑着我
再一次祷告 帮助我

Week of my birthday:p

This is the end of 6th week in 4th block...time is running fast!
actually i passed this week without any consciousness... monday birthday... flying and hanging heart i had haha... because i seriously didnt expect so many bday card in india this year... erm.. i feel my birthday could be represented 3 days b4 and after for this year:)
Last sat my friends celebarated with me and i found 1 thing i forgot was... to request 1 song from qi yuan!! all the while i have been asking him to sing sing sing but on my bday i forgot pulak:(
so he owe me 1 song for next year! :p otherwise with such a beautiful environment plus nice bday cake and pretty ppl all ard me.. if i had such a deep and stable+ touching voice from ductless... sure it would have been perfect! haha...
i received 6 cards this year and thanks so much!!! for cards given in group and personally like pau shan, qi yuan , sin siuew... also indian friends like kavita and saviana( so sweet they were, though i never do much things for them).. and not to forget my VIP in malaysia... Phzi Shuang.. you card reached late! kaka.. wednesday i received that:) Thanks!! and i really tried to lick my elbow, but couldnt..:p
NOT to forget is the grouped card from my beloved chinese friends.. lol.. only give me next day after my birthday! 1st time i so "thick face" and "chase" them for my birthday card from morning till class ended! nvm, as long as i got it, I DONT CARE!!! Normally bday star get the card on their bday but i was so "special case" ya:( lol....kept me thinking where my card was for the whole monday:P really thanks all of u for advice( if u gave) and effort writing that!! i was also stunned when a friend only sms me 20 "happy birthday" just few minutes before end of 15th... dont know purposely or "liang xin guo yi bu qu"..blekz.haha.. Thanks him also... not going mention who...:p
and immediately thursday was anat 2nd class test:( why :(? because i didnt do well lo... this is my birthday week! I didnt study much and everyday hanging only.. so regret that i delayed my block 2 revision and at the end couldnt finish. most of the mistakes contributed by block 2... of perhaps i just had to read 1 chapter--- INFRATEMPORAL FOSSA..:( my number of mistakes will be greatly decrease because more than 15 questions from that chapter.. i know that is important chapter:( But i no time read... the most imp artery nerve muscle even joint all fall on that chapter and these were all the questions asked:( haiz.. wrongly planned or i should say i didnt choose important things to study wisely.... because just read that chapter could help me so much,that's i feel my laziness wasted my mark...however, not seem that i take lesson from this class test.. because for the next 2 days i still hanging..
in fact, i really found that my block 4 not as stressed as block 1.. i felt i have immuned.. cant finish study nothing to me... i cry no more due to studies... all emotional matter only...
today is sat, we had class till 130pm..haiz.. normally i could go home at 1130 or recetly latest 1230.. but the class becomes more and more and we go home later and later.. tired..
Today we had interesting class anyway:) Lecturers encourage us by showing us some touching slides... anat teached us to how face problem.. imsgine boiling water is problem, either we go into the water tough like CARROT, and come out soft and weak; OR we could be an EGG, went in soft and fragile,sensitive, and come out strong and tough,heartless; OR we could be coffee bean, never influenced by the boiling water, but change the smell and taste of the water! make it nice and tasty:)
We are told to be COFFEE BEAN!
What am i? i feel im neither 1 of them.. But to those ppl who never treat me nice, i will act like AN EGG! though i may be just a carrot.. In manipal, i learnt about "REALITY"--- we wont get what we always expect and people wont treat you good even you used to treat them good. they have no responsibility to treat u good or to take care of your feeling anyway...I cried to a malaysian friend. told him i dont get the LIFE that i wish in manipal...he told me:we were born to this world alone. If ppl treat you good, this is BONUS and you must thank GOD. Nobody has the responsibility to care u, if somebody cares u, you should thank GOD. Perhapz this is true>.. im a spoiled one since young.. dad sayang, mom sayang, friends sayang... may be life of a medic students also different... busy... stressed. everyone has his/her own problems. i dare not call anyone.. the most i sms ppl when im sad. i dare not ask anyone to accompany me...dont waste ppl time to listen your emotional nonsense... and not everyone we finds comfortable to talk to... i want to call only certain friends but still so struggling to do that... at the end, home is still the best.. so i must go home!!!
Today physip lecturer also showed us a video clip of a movie showing a girl with "spinocerebellar" disease. loss of coordination, no balance, hard to speak, choked while eat, cant write well... i really touched la... so difficult to control not to cry(if i watch that movie, sure cry 1)..lol.. im 1 of the luckiest at least my brain still function normally.. :p also someone who care about me even in manipal.. i should be contented... and stay cheers....
To manipal gang, i think all of us have our own true friends.. do cherish them and 1st year of our medicine will get over soon!!! jia you, and we shall walk together!

20 liao....

erm... today im officially 20... no more excuses to say i m 19 dy....
Well... birthday also nothing special la... still have to eat, sleep, bathe, going class, going dissection and study :(
no flying....
well... my heart did fly la... haha... it left my body and flied to the heaven dy!! When sin siuew called me yesterday night at 830 indian time and without saying anything.... sang a birthday song for me! Muakz.... sweet... i told her still early... she said she didnt wait for 930 coz she scared got ppl call me... haha:)) we talked for 40 plus minutes... erm... nothing special, just craps in india... and this is what made special btw us:)))
WHY 930? she said i was born in Malaysia... Indian time 930= malaysian time 12am~ !! such caring girl exists in my life! even i myself didnt realise, kept telling her still early.. kaka... i was too surprised and i think i should have recorded the birthday song that she sang... but time not permit!! also my reflex arc not functioning that fast! though i have not recorded, this song will permanently transferred to my prefrontal cortex as long term memory! no more in mamillary body dear!! i will keep the neurons survive!! Muakz...
and also thx for her card and cow cow bear that she gave me for present!! sweet!
also, i should thx another friend who was as sweet as sin siuew, counted my birthday in malaysian time! who? the tiny and cute SIAN LIN la ... hehe... thanks for being sweet and tiny naughty girl! yeah!!!
Not to forget are all my malaysian, russian and Manipal friends who sent messages to my indian number, hotlink number... i saw all the messages thanks!
erm.. specially have to thank to another artist also a nice friend of mine..haha... who else? the Ductless endocrine la... erm... think i should have mentioned his name -- qi yuan lo..
yeah! thanks for your card! also your "poem" with my name..... you are the 1st person created a poem using my english name... last time only a friend wrote a poem using my chinese name... so admired you all being so good in " literature" all these stuff la!!! haha...
should i "show off" his talent here?
erm.. he wrote--
Here you stand
Under the twilight's moon
In the depth of heart beat

Pointed towards a shimmer
High above the nascent crimson
Escape into bedazzlement
Nigh! O-dear of mine
Grasp ever so tightly.
erm... seriously, this " deep" english is not for a kindergarten girl like me la :p
i... not so understand lo... haha... but no doubt it's all the beautiful language... but qi yuan i told you to write more "reader-friendly" english ma... lol!!!!
Well, he explained that it means "if i ever fall n darkness surrounds me, know that he will be there to grasp me and pull me out of trouble. " haha.. lol! touched!!! thanks for the friendship! :P

erm... basically all still the same but really thanks for those caring friends who made my lonely birthday in india not lonely and made me feel cared for 1st time! i will stick all these on the wall:) remind me im not walking alone when im down... thanks all of you!!!! Muakz...

20th birthday

Tomorrow i'm no longer 19.....

turn an little adult tomorrow! haha.....

Well, yesterday my dear friends in manipal had a pre-birthday gathering for me..

and actually i feel i am one of those luckiest...

thanks for the 2 organisers "Ductless" qi yuan and ky:)) Thanks for choosing such a nice venue, informing friends and my birthday cake!!!!

Why said im one of the most luckiest? Because... my birthday unfortuantely falls during the busy and stressful block 4... despite all these factors... they still willing to plan for sth special including choosing a new place that we never been before..to celebrate my birthday:) perhaps all of them just hope to make me happy.... and i really was!!! Yesterday night will be 1 of those MOST UNFORGETTABLE nights that i had in Manipal!! firdt time celebrating birthday out station!

that was a calm and cozy restaurant and at first so sien that got ppl around us smoke.. later we changed places and finally ended up in a beautiful, ample private room of that restaurant! haha... this was what we never expected... i also feel surprised! so.. we could make noise! take pictures in that beautiful surrounding... and not to forget, our batch 22 chinese family picture@@!!

haha... we are really a small family.... i hope nothing can separate us..at least before our graduation:)

i had only 1 wish for this year birthday....being in india, i dont wish a lot....haha:)

seemed that i wished many times, in fact...i kept repeating that wish,i hope God can hear it, i hope my wish can come true....all friends here must work hard and never give up! so that my wish can come true...

1 more important thing that stunned and touched me was the self-made birthday card from pau shan! haha... one of the most artistic friend in my class, sitting in front of me now and always motivate me when i grumbled or not-so-happy....really thanks! haha.. she is no doubt a talented "artist"... she can draw well!! she drew my picture on the birthday card that she gave me(think that is another specific word for that but i forgot lo!!! poor vocab haha...)

haha.. i was really surprised and happy to see that... TOUCHED of course... because she was willing to spend time and effort just to make me happy... i could feel the sincerity...i feel so speechless seeing that...haha! some more she practised chinese words from LeeMIN since she is english-educated lo! thx leemin also:)

I really dont know what to say more but only thousands and millions of THANKS THANKS THANKS!!

Thanks for those great friends aka chinese family-- ky, qi yuan, Kt, k.shien,joe, amy,nat, betty, jia chyi,catherine, hwee wen, Leemin, sok bee, everlyn, sin siuew, pau shan, adeline, little sian lin...:) Thanks for caring me and never forget my birthday!!! thanks for teaching me whatever when im lost!

Specially to ky and qi yuan.... for organising this gathering...

specially to paushan for your card and camera....

and specially to sin siuew... for walking with me in india!

missing you all always!

Gambateh!

-C-O-L-L-A-P-S-E-

What come across my mind now?
CONSCIOUS----> GIVE UP------> FORGIVE------->FORGET(how?)------->RECOVER
i so regretted that i went out.... i thought i will be ok but why so exhausted after coming back?
Heart rate increases,body temperature increases, lacrimal gland stimulated, tears burst.
How many times i have to collapse before i get recovered?
I dont know what i should write... my tears rolling down and how can i control?
Sin siuew told me Mr Sathish said we must convert whatever we learn into long term memory...Treat it as an important thing and recall it within 72 hours.. DO THE OPPOSITE IF U WANT TO FORGET THING. i asked myself many times... HOW to do the opposite? No direction.... no pathway....i cant control = im not recovered.

No medicine to cure, whatever that remain mystery still a mystery... history is history... but history repeats itself! Let it be HIStory and MYstery... 145pm now... 2pm must stop everything!
you have no choice but only piles of work waiting for you! dont let your emotion overwhelm you!limbic system?? we are learning soon... Pls activate your prefrontal cortex!Differentiate which is wrong and which is right..which one you should think and which one you should not think...be mature! and control the psychitric cortex...stop the dreaming process and delete your unhappy and unconscious memory!( of course not what i have studied..that memory pls stay....) ...lol.. what a crap in this blog!

BORING LIFE!!!

4th week of block 4 ending soon!!
we are entering 5th week... i keep counting down... be optimistic pls!! time passes by so fast! you will soon finish everything and back to your home sweet home...
I found that im living my life alone here....
one is i'm almost eating alone most of the time... i think not because i have no friend.. more and more of my friends who initially not joining mess now also join mess dy.. dont know why.. food not seem to be pleasant, may be due to conveniency...
im quite surprised that i still dont want to join mess.... because no freedom.. if the only reason for me to join mess is because " i can eat with my friends".. that is not convicing enough... but i found no other reason...
Life here is so bored... plus im doing everything almost all alone here.... think i have grown up a little dy.. I dont mind to be alone... but i mind if i waste my time to dream... study cannot concentrate.. i have to spend long time to read a single page.. this is not a right way and a right pace in block 4... haiz...what can i do?
today is the last day in dissection we had our current teacher.. i had no mood to listen to him dy.. because the next teacher that coming up to our table is one of the best teacher in anatomy!@ and he will be teaching my table the rest of the brain!! in fact, i should say the hardest part of the brain! hehe.. so im no mood hence not so happy... at the same time, i still feel happy because i know next week we are changing teacher:) Not to say the current teacher no good la... he is a good and dedicated lecturer... i can feel his sincerity to explain everything as clear as possible to us.. may be he is not confident enough gua.. i feel that CNS lecturer must be very confident only that convicing to students... plus we table 6 ppl so hard to handle.. he cant handle some of us may be.....I just feel that for the rest of the time, i will get harmony in my dissection table and learning CNS happily..........
i also hope i can go through everything and stay on strong for the next 8-9 weeks in MAnipal! pls stay strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls tahan!~!!!!!! pls pls.....
then i can go home to charge my exausted battery dy......

STUDY TO FORGET--->THE CNS

Am i right , friends??Whatever i studied, half an hour is enough for me to forget!
haiz... such a irritating block.. now the end of 2nd week, entered 3rd week...
In the beginning i once mentioned my block 4 wont be peaceful... seems my 6th sense is quite accurate.. 2nd week already so many unhappy and bu shun li de events happened..
this is what we said by " ri4 jiu3 jian4 ren2 xin1".....( As time goes by, you can see everything very clearly....who is your true friend, who is not... who not seem to your true friends but actually he/she is?? haha... relationships btw people is always complicated la!)

I was so angry that i was so easily affected by people.. i just feel very horrible as i didnt study for 1 day, the next day i didnt even know what the lecturer was talking about! wasted the 2 hours!:(
this is CNS, once you are lost in 1 part, you are lost if u still dont study to keep them up@@
Pening!! Am i really prepared to face such a difficult block ah?!
No matter how.. for me ... i still think that friendship is just as important as studies.... BUT sometimes if we put too much effort in maintaining a friendship, who is going to console u when u are hurt?!
Another problem is.. i found that i cant concentrate for a long time esp when im studying such a difficult topic... this is difficult( means to score.... )
I should try my best anyway... but now really feel that battery is exausted...no energy!!! where is my charger oh?i found that i can only tahan for 1 block... block 3 i still can push myself.. block 4 study halfway lie on table straight sleep!! doesnt means that i sleep very little or what.. i just feel that i got no more motivation to stay awake..
ANYWAY, really cant be lazy.. really cannot! this is irritating and difficult block!!!! be CONSCIOUS.. i got 7 more weeks to go to finish the troublesome block 4, and 10- more weeks to uni exam... then go home ok?!!! FAST FAST!! i want to play ard from north to south malaysia... sleep like pig , charge battery!
Anyway, 1 special day we had was the College Annual Day, 1st time in Manipal i ahd the chance to see my friends dressing up nicely, and dress up for myself also:)
Though our batch was not involved in this annual day. we had a great hours taking photos... :) Next year! WE WILL BE INVOLVED@!!! Get distinction ok friends!!!! haha.. talk easy la..lol! jia you oh@@@
And thanks for all friends with cameras and help us take photos like pau shan sin siuew adeline... Muakz!!! ( as we no camera, just pose and wait for camera! heehee..) thx!!

BLOCK 4....---> Uni exam.

"VISION AND MISSION"

1. CANT BE LAZY
2. CANT BE TOO PLAYFUL
3. CANT DREAM SO MUCH
4. CONCENTRATE!!!!!
5. TRY YOUR BEST!!
6. DONT BE PIG AND SLEEP SO MUCH PLS..
7. PLS BE MOTIVATED!( source?!)
   

I dont know what to write more... i feel so scared as im lazy... i think block 3 i'm still better.. now block 4 1st week over.. so fast!! and i was like.. playing everyday.. then go home dream or sleep in front of the books.. so tired la!! i will try hard and well...
so fast have to face university exam..

i think i wont fail uni gua... but i just scared i will regret if i never try my best.. if i want to try my best, i have to PUSH PUSH PUSH AND FORCE myself... i dont want to be so stressed la...
so.. if i let myself be NATURAL and do whatever naturally and slowly, at the end im sure like block 1 or 2...(gave up!)plus now block 4 portion so difficult and so much!! FAINTING!! i dont know how to revise previous blocks also...no time at all.. another thing is i feel sleepy so easily now:(
really want to be a lazy worm for 1 month in malaysia.. really wanna play all around! where are those motivations in india?? by seeing my friends hardworking, i only feel they very discipline, cant really motivate me... really no medicine to cure?? i dont know la.. i started to get bored of studying, the syllabus very difficult.. CNS.. no joking... BUT I MUST TELL MYSELF I CAN MAKE IT! i can can can.........................haiz...

what to do? feel scared and lost...but still have to keep going on, step by step...
be always MOTIVATED please.... this is your last 10 weeks!!!
this is your last chance to win the battle! jia you...
and for all my friends also... who are facing uni like me..
and those chinese gang pls work hard!! we cant afford to lose anyone out of our small family!

Im COMING BACK!

This title---- means a lot..
means i have decided to come back malaysia next february after i finished my university exam on 18th.. may be by 21st or 22nd will reach gua:)
also means may be i want the "original" me to come back... i want to forget all those unhappy past... and stay happy always!! i trying la.. sometimes halfway study will think of many unnecessary things then feel sad.. haiz...
perhaps i have become really much better now... remember 1 friend told me the 1st week i came back to india i was so different... never bother anybody and like having a wall blocking my view always.. haha... i thought i hide my emotional problems very well.. but still, people can easily noticed.. in fact, i was so so unstable for the first month i came back to india.. i feel scared of everything...
this block 3 i seldom get out of my room.. doesnt mean i dont want to come out.. i feel scared to come out... i feel scared to go library so often... i feel very unsecure.. so i decided to come back malaysia, a place where im always so well protected by all people around..( i think so:))
i scared i will collapse if i don come back malaysia..
these 3rd block i was like 1st block, cried a lot@@@!! difference is, not due to study(Like 1st block), all due to relationships... love, friendships..( luckily family not involved:), so love my sweet sweet home!)
i know myself more.. i hope i can get more mature and really grown up.. but i know where my weaknesses are.. i always remind myself to correct them.. i tried to control everything.. but i think my straight- forward nature will eventually spoil everything.. i dont know how.. dont know how to change them... :((((
i know it's impossible to be likable by everyone.. in fact a friend told me 1 person who is likable by everyone is 1 who doesnt have any characteristics... so be yourself..but.. i also dont want to offend ppl... though i will apologise... but scar will be there... i might have hurt somebody or hurt myself which i don even know... so sorry to all friends that i have offended...forgive this straight and naughty girl pls... ( i know not many ppl known this blog or read this, i certainly feel better if i really apologise..)

Block 4 starting... i have played for last 2 blocks... 3rd block i relatively played less.. but there are so many problems and obstructions that block my way, distract my attention... i never tried my best for all!! so now i feel scared.... feel scared i cnt stand block 4 stress... feel scared i will get lost or trapped in problems again... haiz... I MUST TRY MY BEST! jia you oh.... feeling so lazy now! haha........

Weird weird weird....

recently many things happened la... happy unhappy...and people around me behave quite differently ya?
i think those unhappy events more than those happy 1?!!
but they are all personal problems la...
i finally feel that may be "human always 'fan4 jian4', know that things should not be in this way... but dont know why we do things( esp me!) just follow our feeling... and did mistakes.....
i know im always a straight-forward person... this is actually not a good thing.. at least not every one can appreciate this ... esp when u come to the society.. how a straight forward person survive?? again, people don like fake person... so.....
i think the conclusion is... we continue to be sincere to true friends, BUT to other ppl.... just keep quiet and tolerate...
but i once said out the truth to someone who is so close to me and know me so much... he couldnt take it and that few days he was so abnormal.... i so scared.... so how?? haiz... life is really complicated esp when we need to deal with other ppl.... i also dont know how.... this world is not suitable for a "growing kid" like me... im always so well-protected by friends and family...they all so sayang me in malaysia... when in india, medical life... who has the time and energy to really bother and take care of u?? NOBODY! not to say no friends, but everyone contributes his/her time for books and studies.. this is understood...(even i also feel life is stressful if wasting too much time..) so i now slowly learnt to solve all the emotional problems by myself... I dont want to waste others' time to listen to my emotional nonsense... but don ever ask me how to solve emotional problems.... i dont know... i just know that at my weakest point, i must be strong! who is here for u? im no longer like a princess in malaysia... this is india... and without parents,caring friends and certain someone, im just a grass who has to be really really strong if i want to keep on surviving.... jia you!!!!!
i must be strong, tough, optimistic... tolerate every pain and sorrow... keep going on... respect people, cant be self centred, cant be selfish, be natural( to some extent) and patient! jia you... i can make them... jia you!!!!!!

I very lazy ah....
today just finish a class test.. that was a challenging test for me as the syllabus that we had to cover was a lot!! block 1 lower limb, embryology plus all the abdomen part... wow!!
in fact i was not stressed( as i said i have undergone revolution haha.... ) im not going to finish la... after all it was just a class test!
anyway. to some extent feeling of guilt is there.... because i didnt even expect myself to finish...haiz.. dont want to stress up myself... i want a happy relax life... want to be a relax type of medic student haha...
now we are learning perineum in anatomy.. such a beautiful noun.. dont know what perineum is? check dictionary..haha..
in fact, today lecturer told us a funny thing.. "testis" why called testis??
heard of testimonail?testimonial also means sth " I GUARANTEE YOU"...haha.. couldnt stop laughing in dissection hall... coz that easily made us think of many many funny things, which depends on YOUR IMAGINATION!! haha.... in fact, for people of the past when there was no al Quran no bible, they really pray and sweared upon their testis! haha.. so funny.........lol...
haiz.. this is a way a medical student can find fun while studying.. what to do??? lazier and lazier le....

Im such a typical sagittarius>.....

(All from email)This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months!
Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything.
Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with.
Easy to talk to, though hard to understand.
Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind.
Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.
Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person.
Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds.
Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous.
High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships.
So much love to give. A loner most of the time.
Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away.
Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever.
Loves deeply but at times will not show it feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person.
Defends loved ones will all their abilities. Can be childish often.
Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind.
Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal.
Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying..

A Medical student who's undergoing revolution

oh.. so fast we are entering the 4th week!!! erm... the past few weeks we all were busy with junior orientation... played for 2 weeks...haha.. because we chinese did a very creative performance: ANATOMICAL DANCE..haha... made an intro for junior about anatomy, using dance.... hehe... thanks for friends' brilliant idea la! in fact, many lecturers quite like that, though it was just an simple dance, but meaningful and effective... even i heard that was the best performance of the day! so unbelivable but great indeed!!!!
erm... new batch juniors have come last week... i at first quite worry about them... scared that they suffered like me ... but from what i see... erm... they are quite independent and very geng oh... like quite enjoying india... lol...may be 1st few days feel NEW and fresh with this place...haha... later on stress will naturally come le....wish them luck anyway! but i know i will help them(if they ask for my help) haha....
now life is actually quite busy lo... because for the past 2 weeks seldom study ma... dont know why i still relax like that..(actually not relax, it is a bit lazy lo...) i know i got a lot to study yet i still do everything in a slow pace! what la.... haiz... that's again not under my control....why? haha... 3rd block le... started to get lazy lo...in fact i have already accepted that medic is something that you can never finish learning... so.. cant finish studying is also not a big deal gua... may be i should learn to enjoy life:))( IN INDIA i mean...) ---try to read back my previous blog which i wrote during 1st block, very much difference right?! haha... this is so called " Revolution of a medical student"lol ....
friends pls don worry about me... although im not so good here, yet my life is not too bad... sometimes i really feel grateful that friends never ignore me even i did mistakes.. or no matter what my fault is..............i very appreciate...really. thanks you all esp my friends in india,thanks....

In INDIA...

erm... this is my first weekend in INDIA>...
for the first few days i came, frankly tell i was really VERY BAD and not ok...
always got emotional problems( well, not due to PMS k...), just i still couldnt forgive myself and of course, was always bothered by something also...
what makes me worse was the stress of studies... erm.. luckily i passed all 3 subjects... anatomy made a big progress(from 68 to 85), so i manage to be in table 6(the so called best table in dissection hall). and has to be prosector for juniors... that's good in the sense that i can prosect juniors... erm.. may be see more new faces, know more new friends....:))
My physiology remains exactly the same(83) while my biochemistry is quite a big drop.( from 78 to 61).. erm... that expected(even thought i might fail).. as i really dont know how to do well and of course, it was due to i didnt really study well for biochem... or i should say i dont know what to do towards the end! haha....
WHy said i was emotional? I think too much ba? and i could not forgive myself for many things...
i was disappointed, i was lost....
luckily got 1 friend came to my room, and she really talked to me. she told me her last experience... told me emotional problems are sth really bad and u really have to go over it! it could affect your studies! really affect... that's y i was stressed as i wanted to study but emotionally i was not permitted to study well... ( I WASTED so much time dur to dont know what reason!that's y i feel i was useless...)
She told me: THERE IS NOTHING CALLED EMOTIONAL PROBLEM.you can solve anything and it is all in your mind!
Also, during PPD(professional and personality development class), the teacher told us, we must be PROACTIVE to be efficient... DONT be REACTIVE(blame ppl or anything for the mistakes that u have done)..also, FOCUS on things that u can CONTROL! it is no use to worry about things that are not under your control... at the end u ruin everything! this again reminded me of something!
Thanks them so much! and my helpful friend was Pau Shan, a very cute girl... i will always remember her....who save me from continuing to decay...
I know now i shall focus on studies... i hope i can!
thanks for all the sweet friends who always offer to help though i didnt ask for...very touched, indeed.
and don worry about me, whatever worst has now been over~ i should smile laugh happy and relax again!

（该有）的心情？

美丽心情
本多RuRu
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/17884ht.htm
多雨的冬季总算过去
天空微露淡蓝的晴
我在早春清新的阳光里看着当时写的日记
原来爱曾给我美丽心情
像一面深遂的风景
那深爱过他却受伤的心
丰富了人生的记忆

只有曾天真给过的心才暸解
等待中的甜蜜
也只有被辜负而长夜流过泪的心
才能明白这也是种运气
让他永远 记得曾经有一个人
给过完完整整的爱情

那曾经爱着他的心情
有一股傻傻的勇气
那深爱过他却受伤的心
丰富了人生的记忆
只有曾天真给过的心 才暸解等待中的甜蜜
也只有被辜负而长夜流过泪的心 才能 明白这也是种运气
让他永远记得曾经有一个人给过完完整整的爱情

只有曾天真给过的心 才暸解等待中的甜蜜
也只有被辜负而长夜流过泪的心
才能 明白这也是种运气
当我安安心心的走在明天里
有不后悔美丽 的心情

冲动
萧亚轩
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/239151ht.htm
很感激 这城市拥挤的交通
让你我 还能多相处几分钟
人潮中 怕失散所以轻轻拉你的手
一刻不放松 不放松

忍不住 想要爱你的冲动
不确定你属于我 会有点寂寞
你给的幸福 在我心中自由走动
抚平我每一个伤口

忍不住 想要吻你的冲动
不确定我的执着 能让你感动
我只能相信自己感受 不怕失落
关于你的一切 我想要比谁都懂

我的心 是被你设定的闹钟
提醒我 想你的时间不够用
为什么 平淡的事情现在忽然生动
是你改变我 你改变我
你是情人还是朋友
还没勇气想得太多
你的世界如此辽阔
我会在哪个角落
Pretty Boy
M2M
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/54938ht.htm
i lie awake at night
see things in black and white
i've only got you inside my mind
you know you have made me blind

i lie awake and pray that you will look my way
i have all this longing in my heart
i knew it right from the start

oh my pretty pretty boy i love you
like i never ever loved no one before you
pretty pretty boy of mine
just tell me you love me too

oh my pretty pretty boy i need you
oh my pretty pretty boy i do
let me inside make me stay right beside you

i used to write your name and put it in a frame
and sometime i think i hear you call right from my bedroom wall
you stay a little while and touch me with your smile
and what can i say to make you mine
to reach out for you in time
(music) oh pretty boy
say you love me too

不了情VS不完整的感情

新不了情
万芳
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/84482ht.htm
杨宗纬
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/173933ht.htm
心若倦了 泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝

这一份情 永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何厮守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了
今夜的你应该明了
缘难了 情难了

(对不起！对不起！）

不完整的旋律

王力宏

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/166025ht.htm

心里有个旋律 不完整的歌曲

你是否听的出来 我拖了一拍

最近世界有点奇怪 好象缺了一块

心里那个旋律 没完成的情绪

如果你在倾听 是否打动了你

说实在我也不确定 怎样比较好听

不完整的旋律 没什么结局 却是我真实的声音

不完整的旋律 勇敢的唱给你听 填满你我不完整的感情

想写一个旋律 没修饰的痕迹 一听就立刻 明白我找到了爱

即使别人觉得奇怪 不需要再更改 不完整的旋律

没什么结局 却是我真实的声音

不完整的旋律 勇敢的唱给你听 填满你我不完整的感情

射手座的女人與十二個星座的男人

This is for me and all other sigittarius frens:)

1.牡羊座：是性向相合的對象，但常常會有爭得面紅耳赤的場面出現。還好彼此都心直口快不會記恨，不至於傷到真感情。

2.金牛座：妳的直言無諱恐怕教他有些吃不消。而他傳統的男性觀念，可能無法讓妳信服。

3.雙子座：和他相處妳會覺得十分快樂，許多方面彼此都能配合得很好。或許正因為如此，妳會安於現狀，缺乏步向地毯另一端的動力。

4.巨蟹座：妳的直率往往會刺傷了他而不自知。經常會有他生悶氣，而妳一頭霧水的情況。

5.獅子座：彼此都是熱情明朗的典型。但是要妳屈服於獅子座男人的羽翼之下，似乎有一點困難。

6.處女座：你真的知道他對妳很好，不過他的方式有些讓妳吃不消。妳的率直天真，總會讓他有點擔心。

7.天秤座：你們會相處愉快，秤座男人不會在乎妳獨立自由的主張，而妳的方式也不會給他太大壓力。

8.天蠍座：他有著吸引妳的魅力，勾引著妳的好奇。但是真正在一起的結果，往往會是表面上妳佔上風，事實上有苦說不出來。

9.射手座：相同星座的你們，自然很容易引起共鳴和信賴。但在意見相左的時侯，就比較沒有緩衝的餘地。

10.摩羯座：他是崇尚傳統的，與妳的人生觀有很大的差別。雖然可以互補，但比較難以引起共鳴。

11.水瓶座：你們會成為很好的朋友。妳所有天真想法他都能理解，但想要激起愛的火花可能比較困難。

12.雙魚座：他是很容易引發妳「南丁格爾」情結的男人，雖然個性不同，但妳總會有想要陪伴他、照顧他的念頭。

天秤座的女人與十二個星座的男人

since i got so many girl frens of this horoscope. let u all see see la:)

1.牡羊座：他做事的急進方式與妳的再三權衡有很大的不同。若能互補倒是對彼此都有幫助。否則就容易起衝突。

2.金牛座：對於「美」的追求，你們是能夠有共嗚的。但他對妳來說似乎有時太執拗了些。

3.雙子座：你們都是屬於風向的知性典型，許多想法可以不謀而合。彼此的關係也不會太過黏。

4.巨蟹座：對妳來說，他似乎太感情用事了些。而你的理性與冷靜，有時會讓他誤會妳漠不關心。

5.獅子座：他落落大方的態度基本上是能吸引妳的。如果有共同的興趣，彼此可成為共享人生的快樂伙伴。

6.處女座：大體上說來，他通常不會是妳欣賞的典型。而妳的「大道理」，他往往不以為然。

7.天秤座：一般來說，這是才子佳人型的組合。但是當心你們總在彼此都說了一大堆看法之後，卻始終難以作結論

8.天蠍座：對妳來說，他們的個性似乎太強烈了些。「寧為玉碎」的人生觀，是不屬於追求和平的天秤座的。

9.射手座：你們是很容易玩的來的好朋。不過射手座的男人喜歡說服別人的習慣，妳恐怕有一點不太適應。

10.摩羯座：你們做人處世的基本觀念簡直完全不同，妳很難理解他的固執和偏見。而他或許會認為妳不夠有原則。

11.水瓶座：以星象學來，這算是最適合妳的星座，他往往有著以不變應變的態度，以及接納各種不同看法的雅量。你們可以在擁有自我空間的情況下，愉快相處。

12.雙魚座：情緒起伏大的他，性格上和妳差距很大。雖然有些時侯你們在一起會覺得很過癮，但多數時侯仍下步調不一的。

tq:哄我开心

分分钟需要你
林子祥
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/72470ht.htm
愿我会揸火箭带你到天空去
在太空中两人住
活到一千岁都一般心醉
有你在身边多乐趣
共你双双对好得尺好得意
地暗天昏当闲事
就算翻风雨只需睇到你
似见阳光千万里

有了你开心d 乜部都称心满意
咸鱼白菜也好好味
我与你永共聚分分钟需要你
你似是阳光空气

扮靓d皆因你癫癫地皆因你
为你甘心做傻事
扮下猩猩叫睇到乜都笑
有你在身边多乐趣
若有朝失左你花开都不美
愿到荒岛去长住
做个假的你天天都相对
对木头公仔做戏

人是不快乐

我真的受伤了 (国)
王菀之
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/97254ht.htm
灯光也暗了
音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了
人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了
是你变了

灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了

i love only sad songs

爱得太迟
词:林夕 唱:古巨基
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/126935ht.htm
我过去那死党早晚共对各也扎职以後没法畅聚
而终於相约到但无言共对疏淡如水
日夜做见爸爸刚好想呻
却霎眼看出他多了皱纹
而他的苍老感 是从来未觉太内疚担心

最心痛是 爱得太迟
有些心意 不可等某过日子
盲目地发奋 忙忙忙其实自私
梦中也习惯有压力要我得志
最可怕是 爱需要及时
只差一秒 心声都已变历史
忙极亦放肆 见我爱的见相知
要抱要吻要怎麼也好 偏要推说要等下一次

我也觉我体质仿似下降
看了症得到是别要太忙
而影碟都扫光但从来未看 因有事赶
日夜做储的钱都应该够
到圣诞正好讲 跟我白头
谁知她开了口 未能挨下去 已恨我很久
错失太易 爱得太迟
我怎想到 她忍不到那日子
盲目地发奋 忙忙忙从来未知
幸福会掠过 再也没法说锺意
爱一个字 也需要及时只差一秒
心声都己变历史
为何未放肆 见我爱见的相知 要抱要吻要怎麼也好
不要相信一切有下次
相拥我所爱又花几多秒
这几秒 能够做到又有多少 未算少 足够遗憾忘掉
多少抱憾 多少过路人
太懂估计 却不懂爱锡自身
人人在发奋 想起他朝都兴奋
但今晚未过 你要过也很吸引
纵不信运 你不过是人
理想很远爱於咫尺却在等
来日别操心 趁你有能力开心
世界有太多东西发生
不要等到天上俯瞰

爱在记忆中找你（岁月风云插曲）
林峰
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/189742ht.htm

我对你 这一生 哪个可比
我与你 差一些 永远一起
邂逅时间场地 似连场好戏 要自何页说起
爱太重 深呼吸 欠缺空气
爱太美 轻轻的 却载不起
爱情来到时候 似明媚天气
它走了 突然骤变雪落雨飞
如果可以恨你 全力痛恨你
连遇上亦要躲避
无非想放下你 还是挂念你
谁又会及我伤悲
前事最怕有人提起
就算怎么伸尽手臂
我们亦有一些距离
你太远 该怎么 说对不起
你太近 一转身 却已高飞
快乐也许太短 似场流星雨
一眨眼 就如幻觉怕又记起
我情愿我狠心憎你
我还在记忆中找你

短发 梁咏琪
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/136683ht.htm
哭到喉咙沙哑还得拼命装傻
我故意视而不见你外套上有她的发
她应该非常听你得话
她应该会顺着你得步伐
乖乖的呆在家静静的守着电话
我已剪短我的发
剪断了牵挂
剪一地不被爱的分岔
长长短短短短长长
一寸一寸在挣扎
我已剪短我的发剪断了惩罚
剪一地伤透我的尴尬
反反复复清清楚楚
一刀两断
你的情话
你的谎话

我有遇过酱的人。

有遇过酱的人？

1.每天比你迟睡，却又比你早醒的人。

2.每天唤醒你的人。

3.把你当宝贝，照顾的无微不至的人。

4.明知你要离开，还是把你当作是最重要的人。

5.明知你犯错，却不舍得生气你的人。

6.知道你喜欢吃鳗鱼，情愿把所有鳗鱼给你，自己吃白饭拌酱汁的人。

7.不能失去你的人。

8.爱你多过爱自己的人。

9.愿意为你受伤的人。

10.每天都必须看到你，或至少听你声音的人。

11.听不见你声音，会睡不着的人。

12.不管你多憔悴，都会觉得你是最美的人。

13.即使看着其他更“正”的女生或朋友，都会对你说“我只要你" 的人。

14.对你的好近乎完美，但永远都会觉得自己对你不够好的人。

15.把自己训练成100%，把你宠成0%的人。

16.从来不会对你忽冷忽热的人。

17.即使狠下心不理你，也不会超过24小时，而且事后会生气自己为何酱孩子气的人。

18.煮你吃的饭，烘你爱的蛋糕，想你白白胖胖的人。

19.想你时时刻刻都可以找到他的人。

20.为了你而奋斗的人。

Genting-kl trip with manipal gang

Since last sunday midnight(actually considered monday) i left penang to kl puduraya... wanna have fun with manipal gang liao! and the bus delayed from 12.30am to 1.30am. anyway, we reached kl at 5.40am(considered fast dy lo)...the midnight bus was so so so so cold till i was freeeeeeeeeeeeeezing......whole night i NEVER sleep at all! try to imagine i have got sleepless nights everyday since i came back penang.(i sleep only at 3-4am)...so i think that monday morning i can be 仙（神仙的仙) dy la..wonder y i have so many "sleepful" nights in manipal... but when i suppose to rest and charge battery... i become "sleepless" pulak!

Reaching pudu, we went to kl sentral by LRT...then wait again....wait till 930am...then again till 10am...then we went to midvalley...nothing special..walk walk eat eat and pictures! then again back to kl sentral and by bus to genting. wow...just ard 40 mins only....( last time used to travel straight from pg... erm.. ard 6 hours++ oh) then we went up by skyway(cabel car)....so long i never went genting by cabel car dy....quite a new experience to me liao..

i played space shot of course! thought i will screamed like mad...but actually ok...i just screamed" adeline im very scared" (coz she's sitting beside me while waiting for the free fall:)) then much ok dy......:) but really syiok la!!!!! let out dy...

we bathed and rested in hotel then had our dinner...then played indoor game. seriously, not able to sleep for so many days..plus totally not sleep the day b4... i was already like a dead fish.but still force out all my energy to play and scream... bump here and there for the bumper car...:) nice anyway, to play with all the crazy and energetic medical students(except me).

they still wanna have fun, i cant tahan i went back to hotel alone and get prepared to sleep... still they came back and jump here and there on the bed... natalie was so energetic wanna to pull me up, woke me up but i was toolack energy to response. jia chyi and catherine were so crazy as seeing me lying down like a dead fish... they wanted to do dissection on me! 1 wanna revise block 1 mammary gland... 1 wanna look forward to block 3, wanna do deep dissection of ....ahem... i was also too lack enegy to response them. after all, don think they could get the scarpel and forceps:)...
next day, i had sleep i feel much better... eat very very full for my breakfast!

then we left genting and continue our activity in kl. they were going jogoya(expensive japanese buffet in star hill)in the evening, so we were keeping our stomach for that but still.... i ate all the way thru LRT, KTM, monorail... donno la... just wanna eat:) ( really really gain weight oh!) then we went to redbox in the afternoon to kill time.. KL redbox really much better than penang la! so beautiful! and nice....QI YUAN reallycan sing very very well oh! but i listened him singing inside cabel car:) that even nicer in redbox!!! so into the song la he! nice...natalie drank 2 cups of alcohol(let count how many she drank)

Then we left redbox for jogoya..RM101.20 per person..donno how many i ate but i could say i was really full...Qi Yuan was so "exaggerate" that wanna go pangsai so can continue eating....haha. may be all of us were influenced by natalie... since when all became alcoholics? they really took a lot and alot of cups of wine, cocktails all these la... all the alcohol drinks...i tried a bit cocktails... drank half cup of wine... and(too shameful to say) i... became... hhaahha.. a bit drunk and high ba.... (i know i just drink a little)..trying to find a wall to lie...(think my symptom while im drunk is---i will find sth to lie).. nat and kt...siao... donno DOWN how many cups.. i know nat drank ard 7-8 cups(plus the redbox de?) haha...she got a bot drunk dy la... but still...conscious. betty mama got us tea to drink... really feel much better.
and due to my high heels, i got lots of plasters on my feet..but still(that's a girl), i BEAR! haha....betty was nice to exhange with me to walk for some distance... then change back.thank her for that really!

Then we went forward to betty's house kacau kacau... her brother is very handsome oh!! ahem... younger brother:((not to my interest:( )her hse very beautiful!! they wanna watch dvd... but i don care.. i slept on the sofa 1st... let them watch la.. i slept. haha...later hwee wen brought me upstairs... i continued sleeping. Jia chyi said i slept like a dead fish(hand open leg open) also don need blanket..haha..lost image dy la...lol...i really donno la..tired.but i kinda like the feeling that every1 pack inside 1 room and sleep:)

next day... after brunch... back to pg oh! then finish story..
( I not yet get the pictures, when i have, will upload to frenster or some will be here ba. we took more than 100 crazy pictures i think!)

my lunch and dinner's mates: ss, ky

coming back to malaysia... became very lack motivated. found my life when i had fun with my frens... no life when there's nothing.
indeed, in manipal... i did find someone who care......i thank them for everything. without them, i wonder how my life there will be...i got 2 lunch and dinner's mates....just want their company and no one else......

i thank Sin Siuew.... since when and how we became close frens? i cant really recall... i just know she's one of my nicest frens.........sharing problems.... sms-ing when we became bored of our book can be our daily activity even we didnt meet each other..who else can accompany u...be ur soul mate like this?!

another of my partner:Ky.. someone who makes me feel most comfortable to mix since first day....indeed! quiet and boring. A nice boy he is.....although sometimes not seem to be... still he's a nice guy, nice fren.. helping me no matter how near exam is... im indeed a trouble to him. y still want such frens? because we are both "animals"...animal can only communicate best with animal.

i live my own world. we live our own world. sin siuew also said... since when we bacame so anti-social? she could be alone, i could be alone, ky could be alone too........ but definitely happiest when we were together... laughters and all......that's 1 really miss..may not have such great day when we go back after vacation but that stay forever in our mind.at least i ll remember and miss u both the most!!

sin siuew such a cute girl, laugh like me although talk softly and so girlish... so elegant:) never wanna trouble ppl......strong and tough though facing problems... not seek for company, just want u to listen to her.hardworking but lack confidence. that's y keep on saying she will fail the examination... i know she wont...so sorry for not being understanding.

ky seems very familiar to me..coz he treats me really like how somebody used to treat me... that's y, nice and comfortable was what i felt...though there are 2 totally different things so please wake up. many of memories.....never got a fren like this.......that's what i could say.
anyway.... still dozens and dozens of appreciation to both of my really caring frens..in manipal.

also in malaysia.... all my high school's frens.....hug me when i cried,phzi shuang....... always lend me shoulder. thanks!
michelle, another claiming to be anti-social de medical student...haha.... says she only came out coz of me........no matter how...touched! although like to ba about my things.ahaha....
the other frens outstation or overseas....... missing u all! sue ann, jooling..rong rong(thanks for bringing me out shopping.....),hui fern and sien..take care take care...

--back to malaysia--

i came back yesterday..
This should have been the day that i have been dreaming of since i left for india...
life there----not to say suffering, but definitely not a 幸福 one...
but y......yesterday i cried for whole day, coz i made a terrible decision-- i wanna break.
why a terrible decision?
terrible coz i donno how to appreciate someone who really really love me..
terrible coz he still loves me..
terrible coz im terrible..
terrible coz it is my fault..
terrible coz i made him so sad and depressed, disappointed..
terrible coz my friends said they were shocked..
terrible coz busy life there made me forget about everything..i have no feeling, cant feel anything..
terrible coz i dont wan any delay, i need 1 month to calm down...
terrible coz i tell everyone i wont change, but now... i failed to fulfill..
terrible coz i need a shoulder there, i cant be totally independent..
terrible coz im terrible(once again)..
terrible coz everyone will blame me for my fault..
terrible coz im going to go through a hard time..
terrible coz i told him the truth, i hurt him..
all in all, all my fault..
i feel SORRY but what can i do??
that's really something i cant control..im not 推卸責任。。全部都是 我的錯。。
luckily i got 1 month to calm down....
after back to india... i m another person..
i will study hard~

FOUND:Feeling that has been lost for a long time...

I found back the feeling that i have lost since i came to manipal... that's the feel that is being taken care by others... or i would say---被人关心的感觉。。
finally i slightly felt from my cute lecturer yesterday....i found him personally to ask some doubts for clinical condition... he was so kind to wait for me..so kind to explain..draw picture, some more write notes and labels...who else( i mean where got other lecturer) will do such thing to u.... not only he clarified my doubts... he even asked for my class test results, pbl performance, studies.... and for sure he will listen to me when i grumbled that other subjects are also difficult....
seriously here, frens hv no time to take care of ur feeling--- im not blaming, as i ALSO no time to take much care for the others.. i rmbed last time i used to be very caring..but now... i cant even take care of myself!!! i donno how to solve my own problems...so how could i help other's to solve?? here the problems are endless-----homesick, studies(too many but too little time), lack of entertainment, but what worries me the most is that---- I SLEEP A LOT(i mean comparatively more as a medical student)--i sleep 6 hrs at least nvr fail! this---erm.. may be double of the certain classmates... i nvr know that... but what matters me is-- IM SUCH a pig as sleeping for so long but still will feel tired... i should adapt to medical life and not medical life adapt to me! how can i keep on sleeping.... oh ya! LACK OF MOTIVATION may sometimes be my problem but what to do????
yesterday i was so happy that i suddenly found back that desired feeling---being taken care of...that could really make me excited for the whole night...but i should clarify that this isnt a good thing---coz being too excited, i donno what i was studying---my mind has been dragged away...haha@ kept dreaming and flashing back bout the conversation...erm... that's the FIRST sweet feeling since i came to INDIA... im not saying india is a bad place..this MMMC, this college and most of the lecturers(esp anatomy department) THEY ARE NICE! AND THIS COLLEGE IS ORGANISED! although packed and stressed..but i think u hardly find out a medical student who has totally no stress!
actually perhaps im much luckier than the others----i got LOVE from bf, from family...我被他们宠坏。。尤其男朋友也很宠我哦。。their care and love for me never stop never end... just they are too far...the feeling of being taken care of ... i hardly get from any ' CLOSE distance" relationships here.. like btw frens... finally i got from a lecturer.. for sure i ll feel excited!!
im now just counting down my way going back malaysia! 4 weeks to go... wait wait wait...............

not easy at all...

Now i think it is the 3rd week i entered block 2....seniors said it is easy.........but i don think easy at all! although not as clumsy as block 1..when we 1st came here...
may be at least block 1 we have good teachers good lecturers........block 2 our lecturers some are good..but some so.....bad or blur.... or teach too fast?!
haiz... that makes me feel difficult..
next week would be tough for me... coz i got the pbl some more there's a class test for biochem taught by a lecturer who is even more blur than me...haha...i donno la....
here seriously lack of entertainment here.....sometimes study till saturated...wanna find source of entertainment also cant find...
wanna hug from my bb........it is always too far from me....haiz.. miss home so much! i cant wait for 2nd august! oh ya, hui fern...... cant meet then nvm lo.....

my 1st block exam out dy...2 distinctions for biochem and physiology...(78 and 83 respectively) for theory.. and anatomy( 68) ..to get a distinction,75% needed.
erm.. my result is considered above average..as they are still many great ppl.. the highest amazing girl could even score an average 90 for each subject--note than medic esp in india----- not easy an relaxing at all! she 's really "shen" la! really admire her:) i should feel contented and happy at least they are still many ppl who failed........gambateh for them...
my anatomy lecturer said i scored well....the cute lecturer told me he feel i can get distinction or even score better for this block as he saw me do my own notes for anat..erm.. may be im not get used to that yet...... i don feel anything easier lo.. i don wanna disappoint him..don wanna stress myself also.. so all i can do is just try my best... nth is easy indeed...haiz....

this is manipal

对，讲到这边的朋友。。我参女生多。。因为宿舍嘛 。。。 他们基本上都对我很好噢。。所以不用担心。。尤其 是我上次食物中毒。。生病了。。有人打包给我， 有人陪我去医院看医生， 有人来房间探我陪我讲话下。。还有人会煮给我吃：））这些旧只能说是感动而已。。我也不懂该怎么谢谢他们。。在酱忙得时候还抽空出来做这些。。生病真的很想有人照顾的。。。这种感觉我永远都不会忘记！因为房间只有自己1个人，肚子很恨痛！加上。。。我就只能扭曲身体在床上，什么都做不到。。真想有人在床边照顾我！

这里的老师也不错。。上一个dissection de 老师， 24岁而已。。很可爱。。我最爱作弄他了！每次都趁着他在割是问很多无厘头的问题！！！哈哈。。。。逗得他多开心。。弄到过后他一看到我就“无厘头”的笑。。我也不懂什么原因。。。哈哈！ 现在这个dissection 的老师， 出名爱问问题。。他很爱问我。。就从教embryology 开始。。。我blur blur de ...常不懂他问什么（答非所问就是这种）。。 他讲话像周杰伦嘛。。有时听不清楚！ 可是朋友叫我不用担心。。他每次suan 我我都笑笑而已。。。所以他是爱作弄我。。现在dissection 他来到我的table ..就笑着跟我说：you are going to be focused for the following dissections.... 表示我必须读他的书咯！是每天！！因为他超爱问问题的。。但不会答也不用紧，笑笑给他suan 两句就过了。。heh。。
好啦， 要去上课吃早餐咯。。我觉得我现在不会像刚来酱了吧。。。
会开心很多。。。至少慢慢的。。。但也要读书拉。。不然到考试我又哭了。。heh。。

The process of growing up

昨天我写了很多。。但电脑好像有问题 不见了。。。这是我第二次写咯。。

来到这边。。我体验了很多以前从来没有的感觉--这是所谓离家+想家的feel 吧 ！！这种感觉从一开始来到现在。。都好象不曾断过。来到这边，坦白说，真的哭了很多次哦！我也算不到了。。可是哭也是发泄的方法。。哭后就没事啦！所以听到我哭的朋友也不要太担心！

想家的感觉在（block 1）最严重，1 SEMESTER 2 BLOCKS。after that, we have a 1 month vacation GO HOME!!!!这次考试后，我不是想回家，是真的可以回家了！！很想念我马来西亚的每样东西！我的床，最爱吃的食物，驾车乱跑的感觉？！哈哈。。。最想的还是我的男朋友，家人，好朋友咯！还没假期。。。已经想我回来该做什么了！我是说他们哦！尤其是碧霜。。真的很谢谢她的。。她知道我不开心（压力嘛）。就会传简讯or email even call me...还有blog。。很touched o ! 我马来西亚的朋友都想啦。。我还口口声声说1个月回来要碰书。。不懂到时会不会连摸的时间都没有？？或懒惰？？呵呵。。

我觉得考试时最辛苦最无助。。有时要倾诉？在这边也不懂找谁好。。不是没有朋友。。全部人都赶着读不完了。。。你还好意思要她 听你说你一时 无谓的emotional 废话？？基本上我这次学到最多的是---考试不是情绪化的时候。。
尤其是医学考试。。时间短短。。要读的东西又 酱多！！想想我们只用的两个月时间。。。ONLY anatomy 就有5 个“branches" ..haha.. upper limb (arm, hand,shoulder,pectoral region) ;lowerlimb ( buttock,haha..we call GLUTEAL, high class lei...thigh, leg, sole and dorsum of foot)...;embroyology( fetus development---据说一个医学生必须了解bb的制造”过程。。从sperm + ovum till 一个完完整整地人。。是因为很多所谓的不正常，最出名的比如down syndrome，都是从bb 时候在妈妈肚子开始。。），所以咯。。要彻底了解哪些遗传病，就要从sperm+ ovum 开始。。酱我们有多一科。。。embryology 真的很难！只能靠想象哦！anat 还有histology...view microscope draw cells, tissues....对， 我忘了basic concept...别以为basic 很容易。这里的basic concept 难也多过人。。

最后要考试时很想死。。因为太多东西了！ upper limb+ basic concept we use 4 weeks; lowerlimb+embryology less than 4 weeks(embryology really takes time to understand!).....don forget we still have PHYSIOLOGY AND BIOCHEMISTRY...THEYARE NOT EASY TOO!!很多mechanisms+pathway 要背熟他们。。有时背到来都不懂哪个 是什么了！到后面很赶。。成绩也会寄回家。。有个老师是朋友的mentor，她说1st block normally student wont do good( 因为真的多又难，我们开始来。。要适应环境。。。还不懂该怎么读anatomy, physiology and biochem..该用什么书？ 真的不懂。。所以拉， 1st block 特别辛苦。。很多seniors said 2nd block would be easier...coz we study head,neck, thorax...not so many nerves, arteries and muscles to remember...试想想每个muscle，nerve, artery 我们都要知道他们从哪里开始结束，nerve need to know what it supplies..if injured, then what complication will cause... the cause (how the nerve runs ) of the nerve from the site it begins till its terminal, branches...lol!still got artery oh! muscle is the ACTION ,which muscle which action...a groups of muscle act to produce 1 action...这些很重要。。因为paralysis of muscle normally is because of injury of nerve..神经线有问题嘛。。muscle 坏了就不能动咯。。我真的学了很多。。了解自己的身体很多。。你想象不到。。我们手那扁扁的poor thing,居然藏了20muscles哦！ 手的动作细吧！有很多小小可爱的muscles来控制你的手指移动。。。对，那老师 跟朋友说如果她1st block 不小心 fail 掉了。。他会打电话向父母解释！哈哈。。。（最重要的是1 年后的uni exam 不好fail 而已。。不然留级的！）
现在我就要学怎么开始读医。。但我觉得这间学校好。。很 discipline ...一刻也不曾放纵我们！老师也可以吧 ！当然有不会教的。。但会教的就很棒！
好啦。。讲考试也够了。。

very very accurate for a sagittarius oh!!!!

re ceived this email from my fren--- making me so shocked that it is exactly describing me?? haha.... any sagittarius girl may be interested..:)
如果說射手座的男人常有些「唐吉訶德」傾向的話，那麼射手座的女人就很容易有「南丁格爾」情結。射手座的女人經常會愛上一個家人都反對、朋友們也不贊同的對象。因為熱情又有正義感的她總會覺得——如果我都不了解、不支持他，他還能相信誰呢！射手座的女子往往對世界充滿了好奇、缺乏戒心。尤其是在她們年紀尚輕的時侯。她滿心真誠的尋找著心靈契合的伴侶。結果經常是衝動的跳入愛河之後，才發現原來只是一條臭水溝。

還好射手座的女孩通常都有著天真樂觀的個性。愛情的挫折不會輕易的將她擊倒。把眼淚擦乾，她很快又有了再試一次的勇氣。不過，江山易改本性難移，失敗的教訓並不容易把她訓練得世故一些。因此，失戀的故事可能得反覆上演，直到有一天，那個真的懂得珍惜她的男人出現。
因此，或許你曾經聽過射手座的女子遊戲愛情、逃避婚姻的傳聞。這實在是大男人主義歪曲事實的說法。射手座女子的觀念、行為，或許並不那麼傳統、守舊。但是，對於感情，她們的確是非常誠懇的。

如果你想要成為她的情人，你必須先成為她的好朋友，彼此要有許多相同的樂趣和看法。她的愛情往往是從友誼中滋生的。有時侯連她自己也很難分清楚其中的差異。她的個性通常很獨立，不是那種事事都願意被你安排的女孩。她非常追求自由，不喜歡別人給她太多的束縳。但這絕不表示她放蕩不拘。射手座是個具有貴族氣息的星座。射手座的女孩通常自律性很高，崇尚人類高尚的情操，她相信人人生來平等、自由，人與人之間應相互信賴、尊重。因此，她不喜歡任何人給她訂下什麼規矩。當然她也絕對會給你應有的尊重和自由。

射手座女子通常並不是長輩們心目中「標準媳婦兒」的典型。你很難教一個射手座的女子信服「天下無不是的父母」，或是「孝就是順」之類的道理。她當然認為對長輩應要尊重、要敬愛。但絕不能迂腐到一昧服從的地步。不論是什麼人，都得要講道理，是非黑白總得弄清楚，不能合情合理的事，射手座的女子恕難從命。你不要寄望她因為愛你，就必須要無條件的接受你所有的親戚。有時侯表面上的親暱對她來說都很困難。射手座的女子幾乎都無法忍受「偽善」及「虛情假意」。她可不是個好演員，如果她不喜歡你，他肯定會讓你看出來。對於有些射手座的女子來說，這根本是她應盡的義務。

因此，如果你是個大男人主義的男人。射手座女子可能不太適合你。同時，你恐怕也會受不了她心直口快的毛病。她可能是個遠近知名的直腸子，經常可以在大庭廣眾問一些讓你下不了台的問題。也許她是個比較內向含蓄的射手座，當她聽到你們說了一些她無法贊同的話，她會板下面孔表示抗議。你最好記得，當你帶著一個率直的射手座女孩應酬時，最好不要說一些太不接近事實的話。如果你硬要誇獎老闆那個掛著兩條鼻涕、又哭又鬧的小孩可愛的話，她搞不好會跟你說：「你馬屁拍得太過分了吧！」要不然她可能白你一眼掉頭就走，拒絕與你這麼虛偽的人為伍。請不要用一種世故的眼去苛責她，你應該懂得珍惜這難能可貴的率直天真。

至於有些人說射手座的女孩有拒絕婚姻的傾向。其實，那只是她對失去的恐懼。如果你真的能夠讓她了解，你絕不會是一個像舍監一樣的男人；你更不會無理的要求她接受你們家所有的親戚。我相信她是不會拒絕你的。其實，她內心迫切渴望找到一個能夠了解她、信賴她、珍惜她的伴侶，與她共度此生。射手座的女子是非常忠實的。而且，她也會這樣的信賴你。因此，如果你讓她發現了你對她的不忠，將造成她極大的傷心和憤怒。

其實，射手座的女子真的很需要你好好的疼愛她。因為，往往她受到傷害的機會很大。她的天真直率，使她很容易相信人。而她的直言無諱又很容易得罪人。所以，她總是會在自己也不明究理的情況下吃些暗虧。而愛她的方式並不需要小心呵護，時時叮嚀，她最需要的是你的尊重、了解和鼓勵，對於樂觀、獨立的射手座女子來說，這就足以支持她繼續用光明天真的人生觀與現實世故的社會戰鬥了。

多數的射手座女子在婚後仍然會選擇作個職業婦女。你該了解，一個追求自由的人，當然會希望擁有經濟上的獨立。而且，射手座女子於生活品質的要求，通常也挺有貴族氣的。很少會是那種精打細算、省吃減用的家庭主婦。至於家中瑣碎的事，憑良心說，她並不十分熱衷，但是她會懂得善盡自己的本份，通常她都能做個手腳俐落的太太，只要你不要擺出一副理所當然的大男人姿態。

星期假日的時侯，記得帶她出去吃頓飯，呼吸一下自由新鮮的空氣，暫時擺脫一下婚姻生活的模式。她會永遠心甘情願的，做你聰明可愛，卻有點粗心大意的妻子。而且她既不會疑神疑鬼，也不會限制你的自由。比起很多男人來，你真是幸運多了。

西界

每天重复的生活形态。。我是否已经麻痹了？可是我知道我的心有跳动，有感觉的！我就像JJ的“西界”。。努力在黑暗中寻找光线。。。





阳光越过窗沿 我在阴影里面.
才过正午十三点 就漆黑一片
没有人看得见 我心深处的阴暗面

只能眺望东边 你的世界太远
撑到想象的极限 幸福有多甜
可黑夜已吞噬我 就是拉不到你的手

因为我活在西边 只拥有半个白天
一到午后夜色就蔓延
虽然和你面对面 却看不到我的脸
感觉到你不安的视线

在西界的那一边 只能有半个白天
暗自祈祷上天的垂怜
在长夜的边缘 给我一丝光线
让你 能多看我一眼

recently many things happened. Exams coming soon also....
plus last week FOOD POISONING----- shall share my experience here...
all the warmest things in India... sweet friends around always making me happy?! haha...
yea.... wait till my exam finished. i shall share my story here... Hope i could still be able to write an interesting story of my life here...:)))
Wait till i finish my 1st block exam la.... Now it is PEAK SEASON dy............
perhaps 22nd MAY:))

really many things to share... like teachers, friends, food poisoning de experience................
no time to write long story now...haiz..

A survey---tagged by rong.:)

1. At what age do you wish to marry?– around 27 ba..hehe.. i just hope so:)

2. What will you do when you feel really emo?–i think i ll get someone to listen and grumble grumble.. if im alone.. sleep or cry..haha.

3. Who is your idol?–many know he's Leehom la.. but i think my real idol in life should be my parents, those great and beautiful frens(heh) and ..... don wanna tell you all!!!

4. Where is the place that you want to go most? No other special place... i also miss MALAYSIA!!my PENANG island!

5. If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?stay happy and relax everyday:) be with...... whoever that i really miss!

6. What is the purpose of your life?– wow... purpose?? live with happiness and dignity with contribution either to someone or to society.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most right now?– sms and calls from Malaysia!

8. What cheers you up for the rest of the day?– a simple and sweet sms from my bf or just a sentence from my sister---she said:" distinction means nothing at all!!" hehe.

9. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?– he confess 1st:p

10. List out three good things of the person who tagged you.- beautiful, smart, simply wonderful. (3? never be enough..)

11. What type of person do you hate the most?flirty,arrogant, not kind at all.

12. What would you do if you won a million dollars?– I don't know what to do la! quit medicine, go back to malaysia!

13. What is your ambition?–a special lady that is different with others

14. What will you do if you got rejected by someone you like? -no confess, no reject... coz it is so "fish" la

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?erm.. i think im too playful and lil' immature... so change this.

16. What is your favourite colour?– peaceful color like green. for certain things i like red or purple... many la..

17. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?– love and care from family frens and bf... i cant lose either one of them.

18. If there’s one thing in your life you want to do but yet unable to, what would it be?– relax and play around with loved one..

19. What would you do if tomorrow is the last day of the world?–will do what i wanna do at that time.. must be with loved one...

20. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half? treat me as nicest as he can.. actually my bf really does a good job...:p


rong already tagged 2 ppl right?? i donno whether fern got this or not.. if notm then YOU are the person i tag:)

do this in ur blog ya. when u read...hehe.

Being a Medical Student

Erm.. my previous blog was quite worrying..
this blog, i hope i wont let u all worry anymore.hehe...
Now i have been here for around 3 weeks... I think i should slowly get adapted to "a life of a medical student" and "the commitment& the satisfaction".. Not to say till so serious.. but..really have to study hard..

We have PBL(problem-Based Learning), Self-Directed Learning(SDL) which were said to help us to become a "more responsible" student... CLASS TESTS!(3 for ana, 2 for physio and biochem respectively ONLY in 2 months)plus from 8-5pm lecture(including lunch break)...actually how many hours left?? Anatomy for 1st block here really takes us lots of time... to remember every muscle, their attachment,nerve supply, arteries and veins and also action plus the way to test the muscle to see whether it functions normally... this is anatomy.. I never know that our "armpit" we called it "axilla" here is so so important.... don't know how many numbers of blood vessels, lymph nodes, nerve,muscles, attachments.... focus here... know the brachial plexus? it is very interesting though... just u have to remember...

Senior told me... now we study upper limb. And it's considered "quite easy"..once u come to lower limb, that time also embryology will come along...lower limb makes u confused with the upper limb.. embryology takes u a lot of time to UNDERSTAND..from day 1 of pregnancy to the day of delivery... he added:"That time u really feel to COMMIT SUICIDE..as class tests,PBL SDL(of all 3 subjects)... sure come together..this is only MEDICINE..how about biochem and physiology?! left behind... feel so sorry for those lecturers...Ana must study everyday... and after lecture,minus your dinner time, bathe time... how many hours u left?! our previous dissection table's lecturer(he was like a walking medic book!) told us he had uncountable sleepless night! ENDLESS EXAMS=MEDICAL LIFE.

luckily here we have good and responsible lecturers..We have kind and helpful seniors...One senior told me: Don't aim to be a distinction student. just as long as u see the progress".. when i was helpless.. she always makes me calm a bit... i think i should change my mindset totally. just do your part well... don't bother how much other ppl has read or how "geng" they are... medic school is like a "gathering" of all INTELLIGENT AND HARDWORKING students!anyway, i was always told by other seniors also---- STUDY HARD!

I donno what i may face next here... staying outstation not like staying in Malaysia.. That's totally different thing!! anyway, i should appreciate that i have such exposure...may be that make me to be a more complete person eventually... that kind of "must be independent" feeling---u could never feel it in Malaysia..

I just know i need to do my part well. there is another wonderful thing here.. a place called END POINT... really the "end point" of Manipal Town.. has the most beautiful scenery and big garden that i could never see in Malaysia! sunset,rainbow, river leading to the sea, mountain...so nice!

If i got time, i ll go there jogging and exercising every sat evening. even sat morning, we also have class..I wont aim to have excellent results.. i just hope that i can pass..

There are many marvellous JPA scorers,damn hardworking private students..don't compare with them.I always tell myself.
I don wanna spend my life here in Manipal, only study;sleeping;library;lecture hall;dissection hall+formalin+cadevar; hostel. i will arrange myself to have other activities or even performance.. I just hope everything will be fine and leave a good memory to me.

Pls don't aim to be the top... i don want to jump from my hostel 1 day..hehe:))
"sleepless night"?!!! too cham for me...But this is the culture.endless exams =a medical student's life.

I am helpless .... what shall I do?

Im writing this blog, and my stress level might be very high for me in this stage...
It is just the 1st week and i shall not be so stressed.. i donno why..From the day 1 i stepped into this strange country,India... It has been rush and rush... For everything. Luggage, daily things that we must need to buy, registration in uni, bank account, police station, hospital.... Then day 4 started class,lecture,lesson. Anatomy, Physiology and Biochemistry.. slowly came in dissection and histology..

Dissection class is really the class that scare me the most..the lecturer simply just introduced so many strange terms that i have never seen before...when he is dissecting, see the nerve he said nerve.. i donno how to say here..it is ok to do so.. but i don't understand why there are still students in my table are able to get what he said, then ask lots of questions that i don't know.. Suddenly feel that im so stupid?! every time after the dissection, my stress level will sure go up crazily...They study and study... but why they have time but i don't?!

Suddenly don't know what to do but no matter how, i know i must move on..... i cant give up like that! it is still the beginning.. i must be strong and go through all the challenges and stress myself.. i am alone in foreign country and i have no choice...

After grumbling... i need to start again...i should expect that medicine is that tough and yet, it is beyond my imagination... erm.... i think i am too tired dy..
i need support and strength... i have to stand up again and face everything!

Life in Manipal

时间过得真快。。不知不觉我已来到印度5 天了。。这里我可以说的第一个culture是---停电。停电是每天必定会发生的事。刚刚一开电脑。。房间马上漆黑一片。。我没喊也没叫。。继续写blog打字。。原来我开始不怕停电了。

我礼拜天离开，爸爸妈妈不敢去机场送我。。（姐姐不给吧!) 我妈妈很会哭的。。其实酱也好。。酱我可以开开心心的离开。。姐姐哥哥也送我到机场，check in 后也走了。。姐姐一定是怕他自己会哭！！哈哈。。就酱去了KLIA。。幸好有男朋友陪我去。。不然我在KLIA一定很不开心的。。我以为我会哭的。。但我却没有哭。。不懂为什么。。就一直叫自己不能哭。。我不想眼睛红红的上飞机。。

上了飞机，我不能回头了。唯有硬着头皮一直往前走。。转了两次机，在坐快两个小时的巴士。。终于到了学校。。沿途看到的东西，真的只有印度菜会看到。。路边搭帐篷也有人睡。。这里的泥沙都是红色的。。跟马来西亚的很不一样。。不能长草的。。而且马路超不平。。积水时超难走。。鞋子脏脏的。。来到这里。。人生地不熟，超难过的！什么都没有。。我永远都不会忘记第一天踏进宿舍，行李的罗里还没到。。什么都没有。。电话又快没电了。。一开始没有stablizer不能充电。。很惨。。我真的忍不住哭了一下。。那种超级无助还有没有安全感的感觉。。加上空虚寂寞。。我永远都不会忘记！这是在马来西亚怎么想也想象不到的。。要自己一个人来到外面才懂。。我终于真正明白什么是自力更生，我以前在马来西亚有男友有家人又男朋友。。我是多么好命！真想念以前的生活！我以前是多么的好命。。

这里什么都不方便。。做什么都很麻烦。包括申请internet assess。花了我们很多时间。。。还要等。我来到这边第五天才有的上网。。就是现在。。 前四天就只能靠电话。。电话钱像流水酱。

第一堂dissection，一开始没什么味道的。。之后就越来越臭。。开始有一种臭味。。很想吐。。但没有。真的有一个同学晕两次哦！就倒下去了。。真可怜那个尸体。。有点替他难过。。 但这是酱的。。没有办法。

在这边最怕就是生病，还有什么都要靠自己。。寂寞是由没人在你身边的感觉更可怕。。别想酱多咯。。 尽力过每一天就好。

My hp here is +919741967360.

Keep in touch. :)

H&P: The Miracle of Human Life!

H&P: The Miracle of Human Life!
Sorry. few more pictures missing.. hehe..
so.. continuing.

The Miracle of Human Life!

(Photo taken from Island Hospital)

My Departure to India..

Erm.. here i wanna inform all my friends... Donno whether it is a good news or a bad news..
I will be leaving Malaysia on 09/03/2008.. And classes commence on 13/03/08..(Indian Time..)

So Friends i will be missing you all!!!
I don't know what to say, anyway.. This way may be much better for me than staying here , decaying... But i guess i will really miss my favourite food and people here..
Anyway, do keep in touch with me, through this blog, msn, my friendster... And i will get u all always up-to-date!!
I also wish to get slimmer after going there... wont get fatter enough !!!

Gambateh Hui Ping..
And friends ah, must meet and farewell.. hehe.
Tell u all 1st...

GoodBYE my hair...

Yesterday was a big day to me!! haha.. as i finally decided to cut my long hair completely to SHORT!

Don't worry, my relationship is still on.. haha.. Just feel that i don't know how to style my hair.. useless to stay long lar.. better make it short and will be colder.. haha... In fact, i could feel the breeze on my neck already.. hehe..

It took me nearly 2 hours to cut the hair.. and my hair just lost in 2 seconds as my sister wants my hair to 接髮。。she wants long hair dy..

Hahaa.. everything was like a dream.. And my boyfriend wanted to see the whole process.. so he stayed with me. In fact, he likes short hair more than long one.. so i think he should be very happy la..

Recently i also did nothing special..

i will be helping my dad may be starting for this february... As itis very near Chinese NEw Year dy.. Anyway, i am still very free..

What is your comment on my new hair?? Sometimes feel it a bit mature, but soemtimes ok... Anyway, something weird that it makes my round round face looks smaller.. hehe.. that's the most important. I will change hairstyle again... I keep it short, and keep changing. haha..

Brand NEW 2008!

First, I would like to make a wish first!!
I hope my 2008 will be beautiful!! hahahaa...
Well, today 2/1/08, my mom accepted her 6th cycle of chemotherapy.. means she has only 2 more cycles to go.. The last cycle will be injected before i leave for India.. I think everything is just perfectly arranged..actually God treats me not bad already, if i think from other aspects.. I suddenly chose to study in Manipal and not IMU.. If i go IMU.. last year August i would sure leave.. Then how about my mom.. i might not able to make decision that time.. And i would not have worked.. and would not know Chyan.. So everything was like fated.. SO long ago i said.. I ACCEPTED my fate.. Till today is also the same.. I cant blame anything.. 他常說：“條路你唔行，你又怎知是錯的。。（廣東話）”我是不懂有沒有更好的路啦，至少我還沒後悔。。哈哈！比起很多人，我算是很幸福咯。。
In fact, i should be thankful, my mom still seems to be alright!! My dear friends pls dont worry.. She still can help my dad sometimes... And their relationship is still as sweet as honey .. hehe..
I just hope 2008( such a beautiful year) can be beautiful too!! I hope i will be alright in India.. I hope i can overcome all problems , helpless feeling, loneliness.. I hope I CAN TURN TO BE A BETTER PERSON!! i will learn to be wiser.. at least not like the present ME, sooo "lun zhun" (careless).. i remember our conversation, he said :"男人就是犯賤，不笨的又不喜歡。”我就問他，我夠笨了嗎？ 他就有點激動的語氣：“夠了，再笨就死了。。”funny right?? haha.. he may forget i am actually straight-A student lei.. I just stay "ow profile"nia.. hehe.. just joking la.. for him, straight A may be nothing///.. hehe.. So i said we are "saling melengkapi " ma..

Here, i wish everyone will be blessed we good luck! 幸福，快樂，健康。。夠了，別太貪心！哈哈。。。

BIRTHDAY!

Well, this is 19th birthday dy.. so fast..
Anyway, next year i may not be in Malaysia dy... gotta leave for studies... So this may be the last year i can celebrate birthday with friends and family in MALAYSIA!
Erm.. all my friends are sweet...
no matter from high school, college or Kim Gary...Thanks so much!
I had dinner with Michelle, Joo Ling, Sue Ann, Ying Cheing on Thurs night.. I hope u all enjoy that! And thanks for all your lovely presents! I was so touched! And Sue Ann was so silly to give me such an expensive gift... platinum.. Ahhhh... She said she was paiseh when i gave her a ELLE watch.. I think her wallet tore dy.. haahaa.. Anyway, this year should be the last year.. i wont be in Penang for the following years dy...

Then i had steamboat with college's friends at Seoul Garden on friday.. Erm.. they bought me a birthday cake! And so surprised that 2 Australians sitting beside our tables sang birthday song for me too?? haha.. that was so nice. And Kean Teong even attended the gathering even he didnt feel quite well.. haha. That's great! (Erm... he was so scared that nanti dipukul if he was absent..yo, am i so fierce? not exactly lar..)

Mom-work-friends

Well, it has been long that i didnt update my blog... So... i think i should grab this chance to update now..
Erm, my recent life, yup, still working lo... non-stop.
About my mom, sometimes good, sometimes bad.
There is one bad news, after the blood test, doctor said my mom's cancer is very advanced and it is actually stage 4. As the lymph nodes infection is at the highest rank. he said the cancer may come back in 1 or 2 years. HAiz... This is quite depressing. But life has to be continued so i didnt cry. I just wonder if my mom's condition does not show any good progress, how am i able to leave for my university next year?? Anyway, i know i have to leave too.
Now my mom has received her 2nd injection of chemo. She takes injection every 3 weeks. For the first 2 days, she looked tired and it was bad. anyway, she started to get better for the following days... That really makes me so happy and relieved. I don't know whether she will suffer more and more for the following injections, i just pray that God may bless her.
I have accepted my fate long time ago... I just can't imagine my life without my mom... We really depend too much on her when she was healthy.

For work, i think i can find my happiness there although it's tiring. I got some friends who treats me really nice and sincere. So... i just wanna earn more money as i don't wanna spend my dad's money anymore. especially when i wanna leave for india/ melacca, much more $$$$ has to be spent for all my belongings.

And for those friends like Shuang, Michelle, Rong,...who are not in Penang, and we dont meet.. I really miss you all! For those who are in Penang,you all are facing exams... like Joo Ling, SuAnn, Lawrence... So... I really miss my friends!...

(Speechless) ( Sob...)

Good news!!

Erm, it has been long that I didn’t online, so I didn’t update too.. Anyway, I finally got a good news bout my mom to share. She starts her chemo, 1st injection and 1st treatment today.. And what made me relieved was----she had known that she got cancer b4 the treatment started! we just kept hinting her. we went to loh guan lye to check up. But my sister wanna consult a 2nd doc to ask for more opinion. So we went to island hosp to consult the oncologist there. And the oncologist said cant hide away from mom, she must know. So he explained to my mom, and mom seemed to be calm, although sad. Everything is much better than I imagined!Thank God!The doc is so experienced, and the nurses there are so nice, consolling and caunselling.

After that we decided to do chemo at Island Hosp instead of Loh Guan Lye. Today she finally started her 1st injection. And after going back home, she is still ok.. not like other patients who will be so tired. Doc said her body is quite strong now, so the medicine wont show big impact on her. Just her hand where was used to inject, painful now. And doc already asked us to use ice to massage that part gently.
I saw the patient next to my mom, she had breast cancer. And her hair all dropped dy. But my mom was still ok with that lo, she seemed to be not afraid. Doc told her it's of different medicine.

And today I went to do my passport too with Kean Teong. Everything seemed to be so rush, as we didn’t do preparation well. Haha.. but finally ok dy! I got my passport. And today was not crowded, so very fast only. But recently I really spent quite a lot of money lo. Buy gifts 4 friends, doing passport ( rm 300), go tesco to buy daily used items(RM200++), insurance, car repair, haircut, petrol… wow.. gonna bankrupt dy. Just keep telling myself that I can earn back the amount of money that I spent. Haiyo..

Continuing...

Oh ya, here is another good news that i forgot to share!
Well, my A-level results was released on 9th August... nearly 3 weeks ago.. And i got all As.. Haiz... really lucky for that! Well, my mom and sister followed me to Disted to see the results. I was calm and relieved to see i got 3As. They stayed calm too.. Wow, luckily i didnt make them disappointed! At least this is a gift for my mom when she is not actually that healthy.

And for those frens who got beautiful results too.. like Fern, Edric... Congratulations!
And thanks for ur sms to congratulate me! And for those who were disappointed, please dont give up and try again if u wanna retake, ok?? As long as we try our best, we are already the best dy! Don bother bout the performance of other classmates. Just do as well as u can!

And today, Lawrence called me to tell me my breakdowns( THANKS SO MUCH!)... haha.. well, i got a "b" for statistics. the others all "a". haha... Stats is what i expected, otherwise, i wouldnt be so sad after taking stats. i remembered that day was lawrence's birthday! haha.. Anyway, it was happy to celebrate his birthday with him and Kean Teong later..
And i was happy to see my improvements. I got "d" for my Paper 3 of Bio and "b" for paper 3 of Chem during AS level; at least now i got "a" for paper 5 of both bio and chem dy...quite satisfying!

And my sister bought me a beautiful watch of ELLE on that day! Actually she shared with her fren. really thanks her for the expensive reward!! HAiz... although her mood is quite unpredicitable, she's still good when she has a good mood la... don irritate her will do. haha..:)

And as for my mom, i told my dad dy. Cant let her know only during chemo. Soooo.. we are still thinking of the way to tell her slowly... no choice dy, step by step lo.. Haiz.. it's really struggling! For several times, when i wanted to tell her, when the word came to the lip, i'd certainly "swallow" it. really donno how to start! Am i a coward? I dare not face the moment when she knows the truth alone. Im afraid i cant handle her emotion.. So, may be we discuss 1st, and tell her together with dad and sis and bro lo... I really don wanna see my mom crying or depressed~~~ I feel that... actually im not brave enough, especially confronting the one whom I love so much, i lose all my strength!

ATQ LIVE @ Pisa

Ahahhaaaaa..Astro Talent Quest....
This was my experience on 11/8. It was quite long ago... No choice, i had really no time to share here immediately!
Well, that was really a VERY surprising concert! I never expected that Zax would win the "battle", Jyin would be the 1st to be kicked out, and.. Christy would get the 2nd runner-up; Wayne got the 1st runner-up! Haha... At first, i thought Champion was Wayne, 1st runner-up was Jyin and 2nd runner-up was either Crystal or Zax. Christy must be the 1st to be kicked out! haha... I really disliked Christy since the moment she pk with Frankie and won.. Frankie was so "sui" to be kicked out that time! I was really sad and cried! Anyway, no choice and i'd still support him!
Well, i made so big trouble to get the tickets, of course, i wouldnt miss the LIVE SHOW @ Pisa!
It was so high there! And when they wanted to annouce who was going to be kicked out.. Wow, the atmosphere @ Pisa.. really high, NERVOUS & SCARED! As for the 1st round, either Jyin or Crystal... Till the last moment, they stopped for advertistment! Really wanna "ba" them ah... haha.. And Jyin started to cry during advertistment dy. She kept showing gestures to her family and relatives and all her supporters, it was like asking them don be sad even she's going to leave the stage. And Crystal, soooooo NERVOUS till stood still on the stage throughout the advertisement! she didnt move at all! haha... Seemed like she's so scared till donno what to do dy..
Well, the concert was becoming so fanstantic and wonderful with the presence of both "PAO brothers"!---Pao xiao song and Pao xiao bo. Well, quite like them actually.. as their comments were straight to the point! They chose for Lynn Pei( Crystal) and Zax.. Without them, Zax wouldnt win.. Anyway, Crystal still couldnt get the 2nd runner-up even both Pao voted for her.. Haiz... Christy was so lucky!
Well, for Wayne, although he is excellent in his singing skill, but he has not many supporters. See, this lesson told us that we CANT be arrogant and too confident. Otherwise, we will become just like Wayne! Get only the 1st runner-up. He must be very " bu4 fu2 qi4" for losing the competition to Zax. Just like last year, Andrew.
Well, i just knew that i was so surprised and high throughout the whole concert! especially when S.H.E emerged on the stage! yeah! High.... First time seeing them! Hebe was so cool! but quite beautiful!
Oh ya, really thanks Janice for helping me to get their album autographed for my colleague! Thanks so much!

Accepted my fate

H&P: Life's changing...
NEW Life has begun.
Report has been out. And my mom was confirmed of having colonic cancer at 3rd stage.
this is definitely a bad news. But im still grateful and thanks God that it is not the 4th(last) stage when we discovered that.
Well, cancer at 3rd stage means the cancerous cells have spread not only to the nearby organs like uterus and bladder, but also to nearby lymph nodes. Does that mean that my mom's immune system will be affected? Lymph system is 3rd line body defence system...Well... im not sure. anyone there who can answer me?
Supervisor called me and asked me to do part-time. They are really lack of workers. it's also good to earn my own money, i really don wanna spend my dad's money anymore. I started working again this week. for afternoon. Well, i really thanks some of my colleagues, for their kindness and care.Help me when i need help. haha...
Erm.. i have really accepted my fate. Although i still cant understand, WHY my mom is being such a kind and wonderful person, she still has to endure such punishment? Have i done sth wrong? Anyway, may be this is a test from God.. to test how much we love our mom, and to make us (her naughty boy and stubborn girls ,and dependent husband) to change to be a better ones.
Life has to be ontinued. I still continue my dream to watch the ATQ LIVE at PISA! haha.. And this is the good news i wanna tell. I successfully redeemed the tickets at Gurney! Wow.. that day was soooo crowded! 4000 free tickets? come on, not enough... Well, i just knew i squeezed all my way. I really thank Kean Teong for helping me to get another 2 tickets. haha... this was really a big sacrifice to him. He doesnt like crowded place, and still helped to squeeze. I felt sorry, but grateful. I need 4 tickets at least, 2 for me and my sis, another 2 for my sis+bro's fren and his dad. His dad really helps my mom a lot. he prays for mom everynight. Since he likes music, the 2 tickets, just a token of appreciation. Really really thanks Kean Teong. And luckily Lawrence went there early, otherwise, i might not be able to get tickets too!
My mom still doesnt know bout her illness. We stop her for eating any bird's nest..... as all these will "activate" her cancerous cells and make the condition worse. We create any reason, tell any lie, as long as not to let her know. I know this is just temporary, if she needs chemotherapy;once chemo starts, we can hide nothing. haiz.. my mom's scared of operation and cancer the most! She's quite pessimistic, and likes to think lots. That's y we try to hide the truth.
No matter how, my final message is i ll accept whatever that happens to me and my family.
Thanks friends for ur supports! U all are such great supporters! I hv nothing to give, just a million of gratitude and i appreciate u all for being a part of my life. THANKS!

Life's changing...

Last week was so suffering for me... My mom was admitted to hospital last wednesday coz of severe stomach pain, vomit and diarrhea.I have been sick since that day.
She was sent to Adventist Hospital. I only knew that after i finished working... My sister always tells me good news but not bad news...
On fri, i was off, no working. When i went to hopsital, my mom told me her colon's blocked. I told her, that's nothing, only minor illness. after operation, will be alright. BUT my mom's not that minor... On saturday night, after i finished working, my dad told me mom has cancer. And dont let mom know. I really couldnt accept that at the moment i knew. I started to cry... But cant cry in front of my mom... so i tolerated. i cried in the washroom... anywhere my mom couldnt see. I stop crying since sunday. i know i must be strong.
On Sunday, i worked for the whole day... And Kim Gary was so crowded.. I was worried bout my mom, but still keep on working. I don hv enough time to rest, my sickness has not yet recovered. i told the supervisor i wanna change to do part time, no more full time. She said she needs time to arrange and hire new ppl, asking me to give her 2-week time. I didnt say anything tht moment...
I think and think, consider and consider... 2-week time is too long for me... my mom needs me immediately. i wanna be with her anytime. I really wanna stop working there... But.. i dare not say. Even wanna take leave or change to be part timer also face so many problems.. how am i going to tell her bout resignation?

I called her up the next day. I said i wanna take 2 week leave. after the leave, then change to do part time. then she suggested me to stop 1st. When the condition gets better, only see if i still wanna go back to work. WOW! I was really relaxed that moment i heard that! I agreed immediately.. Maybe im giving her too many troubles, but all these r not under my control.
well, i hope she understands my condition and y i stopped that suddenly. There r many rules, to resign, must inform at least 2 months.But my mom's problem, was a breaking news for me! i also donno that...
well, my mom operated on monday(yesterday). I think the doc wanna take off the infected part and examine which stage she's in...
The operation took about 5-6 hours, although at first they predicted 2.5 hours to finish. Doc said mom's condition's quite surprising... After operated, only they discovered her uterus and bladder were infected a bit,. Anyway, from what the doc said, he said they hv solved the prob.
He described the cancer as " Quite advanced".. means not at the beginning stage. haiz...
well, my mom was sufferring so much after operation.. anyway, i didnt cry... just try to comfort her.
today is the 2nd day... i still hv flu, mom's still weak, i cant go near her..
Just hope that my flu will get better! And i ll do more research on my mom illlness...
Any info also can email me!

P/s: Thx Shuang and Stanly for visiting my mom...
Also, thx Kean Teong for helping me to search for info!
Thx Ann for ur concern! Thx Rong, Loong and all other frens for ur support!!
I ll be strong!

Hotel Stay+ BBQ at Crown Prince

2 days ago Rong and Loong organised a BBQ "party" at Crown Prince Hotel beach. Wow... Frankly, i should say that this was the TASTIEST BBQ that i hv tried b4, haha.... so wasted that we were running out of butter at the end.anyway, d chicken wings without butter... haha.. still not bad! ( does that mean that ah Loong very gao ah?! ) haha... I just know that i was spending the whole night fighting with those chicken wings, trying to make them as " straight" as possible... this was what i learnt! Yeah...

Also, on the same day, I got the reply from Kim Gary, yeah! They hire me! Erm.. 1st time working as a waitress, i am really afraid of the curse ( erm.. donno y my things always fell down from table during class, Lawrence said... pls don be waitress! ) haha... erm.. God bless me! Thanks Wah zhai for introducing me!

Yeah, this hotel stay, was not bad. But, i couldnt sleep well... Ahhhhhh... TOO cold! I was freezing from head to toes! (may be i was hungry too, that's y..) really couldnt stand that! Thanks Rong for giving me her blanket. haha... She didnt feel cold, ho liao! ( Or may be... haha.. don wanna perli u!)
We played poker and UNO, erm... my luck only became better in the morning! haha.. so great!!
I should say that i always feel very comfortable and secured with Rong. :) Thanks baby!

Finished Exam dy!!!!

Yeah.. yesterday i have finished my exam!!!
Soooo free now.. Like no direction dy! Coz i think i ll only go to university next year... Erm.. now i aim Manipal, many told me the environment there is not bad, and at least, i can do dissection. haha.. yeah!!!

Now, im going to have fun with friends... AND find a part-time job to do! Anyone got any job to introduce to me??

Talking about the exam this time... Bio paper4 (the 1st paper) nearly drove me mad for the last half-an-hour. NO ENOUGH TIME TO DO la!!! Then Bio Paper 5 was much better... I'm sure it will be better than my paper 3(last year 1), coz paper 3 i really didnt know WHAT & HOW to do! (That's y my breakdown for Paper 3 was a D) . At least paper 5 i knew..

Then Chemistry Paper 4 ( S-H-I-T), much much harder than i imagined! I think it was the hardest of all past years! I didnt know some questions, and for certain questions that i knew, i carelessly did some mistakes! Really gai.. i hope GOD bless me la.. this time!!! Chem paper 5, the format was quite like specimen paper, only the questions were different.. so i still could do. Just donno whether my answers could be accepted. Specimen didnt show us clearly the way to answer..

Then Maths, arrhhhh! Carelessly made MISTAKES! very... bo tak!but no choice la, it has been over dy..
And STATS! I really really wanna cry after that paper(but i didnt la, just sad gua).. erm.. actually was not very hard la, i still could do certain easy questions. BUT!! at the VERY last minute, i only realised i did some big mistakes. Then i tried to correct that. Really panicked! I hope i didnt pressed my calculator wrongly.. IF i did, there is nothing much i can do! Also, certain questions, i should have known how to do.. but i just forgot the way during exam! Haiz.. so very gai..Anyway, just let it go la!
That day was also Lawrence's birthday. The "birthday's star" brought Kean Teong and I to Auto-City at Butterworth! Very fun! Then Pacific to walk for a while.. Then go back dy! Anyway, that "butterworth trip" really made me forget all the unhappy things about statistics. At least we laughed all the way. hahahahaaaa..

So for those friends who continue their A2 for the next half year, gambateh la!!! I think i ll go back to college when im free!
No holidays for u guys, haiz...

Work Hard b4 "graduation"...

erm... My 11-month A-Level is going to finish soon!!!!
Time really passes by like running water... Walau!!!
Well, 1 week later will be the starting of my A2 exam. I am going to be freed on 13/6!!!
Oh ya, for the trial exam this time... Erm.. for Bio, the result was a bit out of my expectation. Well, i did batter than i actually imagined! The lecturer has raised the A score to 80 marks.. i ngam ngam 80 if not mistaken! Quite happy with that.(coz i was not well-prepared, so it was surprising!)
Anyway, my chem and maths all that, i just scored the average mark. I mean, i should have done better if i were to be well-prepared.So these were all expected:)
i could still accept!

Well, weeks ago i also got a bad news that Phzi Shuang's mom involved in an accident.She was injured quite seriously.. Anyway, when i was volunteering at Penang Buddhist Association on wesak day, I did pray for her! Hope God bless her!
Also, she is on the way recovering i think!
No matter how, i was soooo sim tia that this little girl had to face such thing during examination!
Anyway, she was so strong that i was really proud of her!
So add oil ok?? Mom will be alright!

Mother's day is approaching.. Well, we celebrated yesterday. It was quite a happy event. :)
Happy Mother's day to all devoted mothers! For my mom... only plenty of L-O-V-E .... except that, I really donno what i can give!
@@@@@@@@Mama, I LOVE YOU ALWAYS@@@@@@@@

STRESSED----RELAXED!

Well, i really forgot how long i have been neglecting my blog... Even Fern asked me to update loh!! Paiseh Paiseh...

Well, just finished my trial exam and MUET...So relieved now... (Although i know it is just for temporarily..)

Last 2 weeks were really stressful weeks for me!!!!

It has been so long since the last time i experienced such stress( It was when i was form 3 i think.. Now i recalled, i feel that i was really silly! PMR was so easy..Blekzzz..)

HAizzzz... A-level in 1 year is really much much harder than i imagined! I feel stressful not because of the syllabus are difficult, but NOT GIVEN ENOUGH TIME TO PREPARE! Bio lecturer has finished all the A2 syllabus in less than 4 months.. I really spent a lot of time in reading Bio.. How many books i had to refer to study a single chapter? Sometimes Bio almost drives me crazy! But still, have to continue...

I still remember during my 1 week study break, there were 2 days i was suffocating! it was like feeling so hard to breathe! Statistics & Maths are difficult, Bio and Chem i couldnt finish the syllabus! Wow.. Luckily now it has been over! I definitely dont wish to experience such stress again!

I feel really wasted especially when i couldnt meet Toak Hou , Ying Cheing and Xin Jo during study break... They are busy all the time.. Xin Jo also came back from KL! Haiz... when they were free to ask me out for a meeting, i couldnt go pulak! SO pitiful!! It has been so long that i didnt see them!

Well, I was not so satisfied with this trial i think..( Although no result yet, i think i roughly know how they will be...)

For Chem, i think it was not difficult, but i didnt prepare well to answer all the questions confidently.. also no mood to do,i even left few questions BLANK! blekzzz.. So forget it!

And bio, quite difficult..gave all answers but no confidence towards my answers.. again, forget it!

Maths, i just did it. I also forgot how i did it, just knew that there was 1 whole question on Complex Number that i didnt know how to do, so 11 marks surely gone! Forget it too!

Statistics, so kek ki that all questions taken from past years! The teacher was sooo lazy to set questions?? Or at least, modify a bit ma..I felt lucky that i did 1 set of past year paper,ONLY 1 set and already 2 questions out of 7 from it! I just reproduced the answers... I simply didnt like that!(It was like not thinking, but reproducing!) And for those who have done all, definitely can score 100% for statistics..(syiok!)

MUET-- the reading comprehension was really confusing. The Summary was hard to search for a point! The Essay(NS trainees should be trained to use firearms, do u agree?) still ok.. just bluff here and there...The last one, listening.. So BLURrrr.. I thought we were given 1 minute for shedding our answers on answer sheet, then another 1 minute to read the question. Manatau, 1 minute to do both! So scary!

Ermmmm.. so conclusion?

"No Eye See!" hehe...

Yesterday night i went out with Michelle and Joo Ling! Sometimes i feel that friends do have mo4 qi4! As in the afternoon i told Kean Teong in library that i miss michelle( cos i saw student from IMU came back and visited his friends in Disted). In the evening, she called me and said that she has come back! So surprising! Another thing more surprising was... She bought me a whole LEEHOM magazine! Whole book is about Leehom! I was so happy, surprised and HIGH when i saw that book! There even has Leehom's posting address in New York! Syiok!

P/S: Ya, after coming back from Leehom's concert, my old phone broke down. siao siao... So i bought a new phone which i REALLY REALLY like it! It is Sony Ericsson W810i, well, Leehom is the ambassador... Anyway, really no regret of buying this Walkman phone, as i love to listen to music! Also... this model is so beautiful !!! the more i look at it, the more beautiful i feel it is! Love Leehom! Love W810i!

LEEHOM@Heroes of Earth Concert!

Before concert: 3/3/07--Saturday
I went to KL with my sister’s friends in the afternoon of Saturday. At first, I was worried that the journey would be very boring, but it was so fun! Actually my sister’s friends all are very funny! Especially they were all Leehom’s supporters; sure we had a lot to talk in the car! And that day was really Leehom’s day! Know why? Not only we were talking about Leehom, FM 98.8 was also playing his songs, his interview! And my sister in KL kept sending me sms that she saw Leehom. I didn’t know whether she bluffed me or that was real, as they really had exhibition in Stadium Bukit Jalil. She heard the rehearsal. That made me really excited in the car! I couldn’t wait to reach in KL faster!! My sister said that Leehom was so tall and handsome, she fell in love with him dy..haha. =)

We took about 5 hours to reach KL as it was raining in highways. And my sister’s friends took about an hour to find their hotel—The Cititel Express( a new and cheap hotel). The map that they printed out from Internet was really bluffing, it showed that the hotel was near to KLCC, but it was actually far away! Anyway, we were lucky as when we asked those KL ppl, they were all very kind to show detailed direction. And here, I would also like to praise my sister’s friend (the driver) for being so good in “guessing direction”! haha… And my sister’s friends are all so humorous, there were many big dustbins, full of rubbish just before entering the car park of the hotel. The one who drove said: “Wei, sure got car park bo? Sampah nia wor..” The others joked that: “RM88 per room eh hotel sure must pass by the sampah eh la.” And there were 2 guards, they joked again: “ Wow.. smell for long will get nose cancer lo.”

Then only by 10pm I could have my dinner. As before that, we were watching Super Star in hotel. Some more, they went to Star Hill to enjoy their great Japanese buffet. It was undoubtedly great, but really expensive! No choice, my sister’s friends wanna enjoy luxury meals, that’s y they chose to stay in cheap hotel! Haha.. but the facilities in the hotel were quite ok, although not as good as the Sunway’s. Anyway, my sister paid for me. Although she is fierce (I am really scared of her), but when she is in good mood, she is really a good sister! Bo huat la.. Nothing is perfect!
It is really tiring. When I was sent to Sunway Hotel by her friends, it was already 2am in the midnight.

4/3/07: The concert day
When having my breakfast, I was so surprised to find that one of the ladies that stayed in the same room with me; looked so much like Sammi! And she sacrificed as she slept on the sofa in the hotel and let me sleep on the bed. So nice she was.
Then, I followed my sister to the exhibition of sofa. My sister helped my uncle there. Anyway, I didn’t know lots about sofa, so I couldn’t help much. Staying there doing nothing, it was indeed boring!! I looked forward to Leehom’s concert! And finally, it reached 6pm! Finally the exhibition finished and I could go! However, it was raining outside the stadium. And both of us were so wet. Some more my sister couldn’t find her friends, I hadn’t got my ticket. We kept calling Joanne ( Committee of Homaniacs), asking where to collect the ticket and how to find them. But the biggest problem was, we were not familiar with Stadium Bukit Jalil! That was really big! And it was raining, my sister was so emotional that time. She kept scolding. I was so annoyed. There was really a big chaos! I think my hp broke down also because of this. As we kept using it when it rained, it got wet! Frankly, I would rather she left me alone than kept scolding. Finally, we found Joanne, and got my ticket. So coincidentally, I met Lay Hoon there and we were just sitting beside each other! That was so great! At least I had a partner during concert!

DURING CONCERT:
Well, as the concert started, we were so HIGH! However, through Leehom’s eyes, I could feel that he was tired. And he was still not muscular enough, may be he was still thin. Compared to the time during Lust, Caution, he had put on weight, but to me, still not enough. Haha.. His optimum condition was during the Taipei concert! That time he was really perfect! Anyway, he still looked so handsome and smart!
That day we were really high and excited! Every gesture and action of Leehom, would make his fans screaming madly! The concert was overall the same with Taipei. Anyway, Leehom gave us surprise too! Especially when he sang duet with JJ! That’s too great! When JJ came out, playing the piano, I thought he would sing his own song. But he started singing the beginning part of “ Ni3 Bu2 Zai4”, that was really surprising! I was so stunned! And half way, I heard Leehom’s voice singing “Jiang1 Nan2”. Oh my god, this was too unexpected! Leehom was playing another piano, emerging on the stage. That was sth that we all had never experienced before! 2 grand pianos, 2 songs, 2 persons…and they all combined into 1! It was like 1 song only! The applause was really thunderous. Fans were screaming like mad! Then both of them sang a duet: “That’s What Friends are for”! Then JJ sang his new song “ Wang Ji—Forget” , that song was really great!

That day Leehom was really cute, naughty but polite! He joked and played with fans. Anyway, he was really polite. After having fun with fans, he thanked them so sincerely. His characteristics--- talented, funny, cute, polite, sincere, serious, naughty, humerous --- really made me love him more and more! He was soooo talented in playing piano, violin and er hu! Especially piano and violin, they were like part of his body!
Time passed like running water! The concert ended at 10.45pm. The last 2 songs, Leehom was really HIGH! He even poured mineral water to himself! He was getting so wet! Haha.. and again, he 倒立走, so amazing! Especially he was still thin, but he got the strength!
That night was really unforgettable! I really thank Leehom for giving me such a great Chap Goh Meh. It made me feel like with this memory to reminisce, it was alright and worth even I quite suffered in KL. Haha!

5/3/07--After Concert
I came back Penang only in the midnight of Tuesday. My sister’s friends wanna shop till all the shopping complexes in KL closed. The last shopping complex we went was 1 Utama. It was much bigger than our queensbay! We use nearly an hour to find the direction! Haha.. That’s how Penangites were doing in KL. Always get lost! Anyway, when I reached the Penang Bridge, I was so happy that I finally reached home!

This 3-day trip in KL, my destination was not KL, but Leehom! I didn’t go anywhere, but I think that was already enough as I went to Leehom’s concert! This was my main purpose going there!

During CNY...

This CNY was definitely a happy and satisfying one..
However, this year, my brother he couldnt come back in time for "san chap meh", i mean the reunion dinner..haiz.. he is always like that, keeping everything in his mind.. and dont tell us.At first he thought to follow his friend's car to come back to Penang, but his friend suddenly changed plan to come back only on the 8th day of CNY, so he had to come back by bus.. BUT CNY such a big festival, where got bus ticket available?? When we asked him, he said he would settle himself. WE have so many relatives coming back to Penang from KL, i wonder why he didnt ask for their help. IF he told us earlier he couldnt get a bus ticket, we could ask our cousin coming back from Johor, he would stop in KL to fetch his sister..actually my brother could "hitch a ride" in his car, then he would be able to come back in time.. And eventually, he only gotta come back on the 2nd of CNY, midnight bus. Haiz.. so pitiful that CNY also had to stay alone in KL.

The 1st day of CNY, as usual, we went to Taiping. And this year, my cousin(mother's side) who married with a Penangite last year, is pregnant now( 7 months). She is having twins babies! (My mother's side has the gene.)However, her body is weak and her babies arent stable actually. After all, this is her first time getting pregnant, and carrying twins some more..must be very stressful. And doctor said that her uterus is quite low too, that makes the babies more unstable.Now she can only lie on bed in the hospital and rest..cant do anything. really pitiful too...Doctor is trying to hold the babies in her uterus for as long as possible.. as it is not good to give birth early,her babies are too small, lungs havent developed well too. Haiz.. I hope that she and her babies would be alright!!! GOD bless her and the twins please!

On the second day, some relatives went to my house to talk first, then we all went to my dad brother's(ah pek) house, to gather and gamble there. (haha.. actually we all live in Taman Kristal, so just walked there nia.) And there i had a good talk with my cousin, we always had many to talk. We talked about Leehom, and his latest celcom advertistment with a "weird" hairstyle?Haha.. I really dont like that hair la, so the advertistment, i also don like to watch too.. Hopefully during his concert, his hairstyle will change, othewise, im afraid i ll faint in Stadium Bukit Jalil. Oh ya.. leehom's concert has changed time and venue! That was a surprising news for me.. It changed to 4/3/07, chap goh meh, Chinese Valentine's day(previously 3/3/07) and from Stad Merdeka to Stad Bukit Jalil. Changing venue is still ok, but changing time really gives me some trouble. 4/3 is on sunday, means i may NOT be able to come back in time on Monday to attend classes! how come... Actually at first i planned well that i go on fri, then watch concert on sat and come back on sun.. that's so perfect.. But now, they changed the time, if it is only coz of 4/3 is Chinese valentine's, that's too inconsiderate! Many scolded the galaxy(i think it is the organiser's fault, not Leehom), HOW ABOUT THOSE STUDENTS COMING FROM PERAK, PENANG, PERLIS , KEDAH, JOHOR?do they have to skip classes on monday? that really said out what in my mind! And im still lucky, some students have exam on monday. so they have to rush back during midnight. How could they do well with a tired mind? Anyway, i think with Leehom fans' spirit, they can manage.. hope so. I will still go to KL, as this is the FINAL tour, Leehom will make it very well! And i ll regret if i miss Leehom's performance! ( I just hope that his hairstyle now will be alright, pls don be like in the "LUST; Caution" or even longer than that!!)

Oh ya, the 2nd day, we went to BM too.. it was very fun.. as there got buffet( my aunt there really cooked well!), karaoke...I chose my song, got the mic, and straight away sang there.. My sis said: " U ah, very brave lo." haha.. U know why, coz there were still ppl singing worse than me, so cincai la, dont care!hehe.. We again had a nice talk there.

3rd day, i went to Kean Teong's house. Jane and her bf too! His mom was kind and friendly! Then we all went together to Gurney to watch movie " Protege"! It was so great! boys and girls, dont miss it! And we all had a nice talk at Kean Teong's house, Nando.. I really thank Jane and her bf for their treat in Nando..Haiz.. Actually Jane owed KT a treat and not me.. Thanks a lot!!!

4th day, i went to queesbay with Sue Ann, Wei Lin , her god brother and Soon Hean! We watched Ghost Rider.. it was nice too! And Soon Hean, pls dont be sad over that matter. Ppl who did sth bad would get their punishment! So dont care, just continue with ur life! And Sue Ann god's brother was soooo kind! Ya, Sue Ann has a terrible cough, get well soon ya!!Also thank Wei Lin for being my model in Body Glove, so good that u are so tall enough! haha..

Im now looking forward to meeting Phzi Shuang, Twins(Fern& Sien), Rong.... so on.. tomorrow!!!
Yeah!!!
everyone, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
GONG XI FA CAI!
HAPPY ALWAYS@@@!

Geeegee.. Class started!

Yeah, Now I am in the second semester of A-Level, A2. And haiz.. haiz.. Haiz... First day already made me blurrrrrrr...

Well, first i OVERSLEPT. i planned to go to college at 9am. And only by 9am i woke up from my sweet dreams... Blekzzz.. I sms my friend GK and he said nothing special, only got class at 1pm.(luckily....) When i went to college at 10 sth, all other friends except Giap Kheng had already gone home.. So both of us went to settle everything, the fees and so on. And tell u, to pay fees is very easy, anytime. BUT to refund the fees, it is so mahuan; need to fill in a form, then wait for the Finance Section to call me... every college is the same la. Haiz..

Then the BiO class... OH GOD! so difficult! what glycolysis, what Krebs Cycle(like "crab" isnt it?), and so many biological/chemical terms... apa itu????? And the lecturer was really LECTURING, she thought we knew everything! Only 2 hours and she could finish 80% of the long chapter of respiration; and the next day, she faster went through the remaining 20%, then she started a new chapter of Photosynthesis. HaiZzzzzz... To survive for this half year, may be i really need to rely on myself, makan diri!

I am still not so used to the new timetable. Starts at 8am(we are like returning to form 5, gotta wake up early..) and ends at 5pm. Anyway, may be the timetable is not as packed as last year. Last year was really killing me! And.. My "illness" hasnt cured yet. I still could not study at home... Gotta go libary, go here and there...
Well, to summarise, i know my life cannot be that syiok and enjoyable like that of hols. GAMBATEHHHHH la!

回顾2006。。

Today is the first day of 2007, looking back 2006…感触很多！

First in 2006, I worked for the first time from Mid December(16/12/05) till end of May(31/5/06). This experience told me that 赚钱不易！Although I just worked as a clerk in a tuition centre, but to handle those money and parents, was not easy either.. And I also tried to write articles during this long holiday to newspaper, quite a good experience!

This year, I finally knew how to drive! Since the day I got my license (6/3/06), till the first day I drove alone to Adventist Hospital (15/5/06), I suddenly felt that I was FREED like a bird! Yeah…. And driving is like a responsibility, esp when there are passengers on ur car, it is like their lives are on ur hands! Anyway, I did meet some accidents this year, either being crashed on the road or I crashed when reversing… So sorry to my bumper and victim car, anyway, I was still lucky as no matter what, nobody was hurt! This year 2007, I hope history won’t repeat itself!

13/3/06—SPM released! I got 11As, 1A2. My result was not bad 。 So were all my frens! Like 容（12A1）、卓浩（也12As，8A1）、碧霜（12As，9A1）、SUE ANN（10As，忘记多少A1 了！Forgive me,blekz）、茹玲、MICHELLE 应该跟我差不多。。太多了，有点忘记！Anyway,13/3 was a beautiful day I think!

20/3/06—Many memorable things happened that day! First, I went back to PCGHS peng hwa with frens, to meet our juniors, and we were invited to give a small talk, tips to study for SPM. And at night, first time I saw Leehom! He’s coming to Penang that day to promote his album! Just there at Gurney Garden, every time I pass the garden, I will definitely reminisce, how great Leehom was that day, how handsome he looked, how well he sang…I will NEVER forget!
Anyway, that day also got sth bad that really spoiled my mood! 一个认识我不久的网友莫名其妙向我表白，神经病！最让我不堪的是，他的头发是长的！明知我这辈子最恨的，就是长发男生，还坚持表白，简直是在侮辱我！最可耻的是，我以“长发为由”拒绝他，还被他恶言骂了一顿！这样没男子风度的，实在侮辱全世界的男人！我想，我痛恨长发男是对的吧？而且，他明知那天力宏到来，我是非常非常开心兴奋的，这样spoil my mood, I will never forgive him!那天我做了那么多有意义的事，他真是个破坏王！ 最可笑的是，一星期后，他又主动连络我，告诉我他已剪了短发，叫我原谅他。可惜他永远不知道，有些事情是永远无法从来！幸好他也没有再缠我，总算有自知之明！

(i forgot this part-- editted)
29/3-31/3/06 -- I went to General Hospital to experience the "life" of a doctor! I really learnt lotsa things from there! and saw many new things!We went to many departments, A&E/Ortopaedic/G&O(that's what i wanna do!)/Forensic/Surgery and so on... many!And what impressed me the most was definitely Forensic dept, there, i finally gotta see REAL corpses! wow!!! amazing yet scaring! I remembered the guys kept saying "LADIES FIRST" when we took turn to go into the fridge where they keep the dead bodies!Erm.. first time i found that these 2 words could be so useful! haha... That's fun! and the process of post mortem, through Vcd, also very interesting! Yeah!!!!

In May-June, I also volunteered at Penang Adventist Hospital. I could proudly say that this is one of the hospitals that I go the most!Apart from General Hospital or Island Hospital.haha..I went to quite a number of dept-- Medical Records, Marketing, Bakery,Medical 3, Physiotherapy.. All gave me different ventures, different experience! The one that i stayed the most was Physio dept. There, i saw many things, learnt many things! I felt grateful that i have gone through this!

12/6/06, first day I entered Disted College. That means I have started a new venture of life… from secondary to tertiary, 走进陌生的环境，从一个人也不认识，到现在认识很多人，很多新朋友。。。感觉很棒！！一切仿佛才刚发生，马上又要结束了。。。在DISTED 遇到的开心与不开心的事情，受到的尊敬、欣赏；又或是委屈、压力。。。我都会与那些与我友情稳到连十号风球也打不掉的知心朋友分享，如果没有他们，我想我也没办法撑到现在！他们啊－SUE ANN、碧霜、茹玲、MICHELLE、溶容、欣柔、还有唯一我会告诉他我的秘密的男性朋友卓浩，我跟他的友情是经过风风雨雨后才有今天那么稳定，大家就别再胡思乱想啦，哈哈！

在DISTED，A－Level is really not easy, since it has been compacted from 3 semesters to 2 semesters. Here, 还有互相扶持、教导、以及分享知识的College’s new friends—立芬、ANNE、秀敏、JO NI、LAWRENCE、业庆、建仲。。没有他们， 我也会读得很辛苦吧？最想感谢的是容，实在教会我太多！Mmuack… Too GREAT!希望下半年也会延续上半年的打拼互助精神！唯一要变的是，我认为上半年整天出去玩，有点任性！下半年，我要安分守己，好好努力冲刺！ 加油lo, my friends!

I think briefly this is the summary of 2006, in this new year, I wanna try my best, to change all my bad habits! Be a better person! GAMBATEH!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

This year, I hv past through a very unforgettable 31st of December, last day of 2006. Well, special doesn’t mean that I am going out with boyfriend or what, I stayed home and cleaned my house with my mom! Haha…. 18 is really more mature, last year I went to Gurney Drive and counted down with my friends(although my parents were not that happy , they always hope that I could stay at home…). erm… but counting down there, really hv lotsa fun! So this year,I try to stay at home and watch tv, count down with them ! At least my parents will be happier! And… most of my frens got bfs already, I also don wanna be lamp post there! Hehe…

I am watching TVBS Asia, many singers there! Anyway, so wasted that Leehom is not coming, otherwise…HOW GREAT it could be!!!!!!
Anyway, I did send a message( New Year Greeting to 33888), this is my new year wish for u all--- 祝我唯一的偶像－力宏，星运更上一层楼！还有。。。（不想写在这边，哈哈）Because I only wished certain friends, not that great if writing here…
Certain friends, you should know that u would sure be included! Haha..

And my New year wish for 2007 ARE
1.Hope that I can score well in my A-Level! And enroll in university of my first choice!( so far IMU ), studies always come first!

2.Hope that I can be blessed with LOTs of LOVE, and giving out LOTs of my love!

3.Hope that .. I can be blessed with a caring + responsible boyfriend that i like by the end of next year…. ( I wont put much hope anyway, could I get one in IMU?)

4.Hope that my family- papa mama, koko jie jie—happy and healthy always! 哥哥 要幸福哦！妹妹爱你、疼你（虽然不会说出口〕!

5.And hope I can really see Leehom’s concert on 3rd of March( my brother’s birthday!) Leehom, I miss you! I will go all over to KL no matter what, I am determined!

6.Hope all my friends, get what u want, all the best! Always blessed with good luck and HOPE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, HAVE FUN!

Merry Christmas!!

Yesterday night( 23/12), I was invited by Joo Ling to go to her church for Xmas celebration. This was so new to me as I never went to the church to celebrate Xmas, never… This was my first time! There were quite a lot of programmes there and I should say that all the Christmas songs were great! Joo Ling always said how great Jesus Christ is in her blog, but I never understood… Anyway, I think now I know… That’s touching!

And the real way to celebrate Christmas meaningfully is not by going to Gurney drive countdown and stay till midnight, or going to the pub like Chill-out to “wet” till morning.. Celebrating Christmas with Christians in church will make u understand the real meaning of Christmas! Although I am not a Christian, and could never be, but I think I was also touched by their spirits! Their love to their God and the love of God to them!

Joo Ling did a short performance too( sketch). And her part was quite funny. Anyway, it suited her character la, funny and likes acting ma hor? Haha… I just knew she made me laugh the time she came out till she left. Well done, girl!!

Here, I would like to thank Ming Lee for sending me there too… As I don’t know where the church was also. And her company was not bad! Anyway, I just know that I celebrated Xmas in a special way this year! Haha.. at least it is special for me:D

Thanks Joo Ling and Ming Lee ya! And Merry Christmas to all of you! Especially those Christians!

15/12/06---18th Birthday!

Hey yo... I finally turned 18!
Since Thursday night, i had been receiving sms(s) from my dearest friends to wish me HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks all of them!
The first one is Rong, 11 .04pm, her message reached! Then Valerine, Lay Hoon,Ying Cheing, Hui Juan, Yee Teng, Jureen, Kean Teong, Chia Wei, Michelle, Soon Hean.... From 12-12.45am.

And Midnight's buddies, after i slept and woke me up to read their messages--- Phzi Shuang, Sue Ann!
Shuang's long and special message came at 01:04am, first "shouting" to wake me up, then bla bla bla, and asked me to go back to sleep.
Sue Ann's message came at 04:16am, bla bla bla and ended with " I'm going back to sleep." I wonder if she was asleep and suddenly woke up to type this message and then went back to sleep again?? Anyway, thanks girls... It was indeed touching!

And here by a special friend from Russia studying medicine, sending me B'day message at 19:01pm on 14th( in russia), and the message reached me perfectly at 00:00 on 15th! So chun! Thank a lot ya, Wei Lin!

In the morning, there was first Brother Kheng Heok from Singapore, so surprised that he knew and remembered my birthday; he is a successful person that i really admire! He taught me too many things, encouraging me never give up no matter how!
The second, Xin jo,then my sister in Langkawi, then Anne, and lastly evening's message from Giap Kheng at 18.46pm! I thought his message never came dy... Anyway, it was sweet! Thanks so much!

And those phone calls-- Lawrence, Sua Ann, Kok Jin(his call really surprised me as we have lost contact for quite a long time!)

Then testimonials---Toak Hou, Wei Lin, Joo Ling, Liggy,Sue Ann,Kian, Rachel and Edison! Thanks for that!

I hope i did not leave out anyone, as my memory is not that great. I hope so... Anyway, thanks those sweet buddies! Love you all so much!

And on that day, we went to redbox, singing. Sue ann came in late, and yet left early coz of an " accident"( not road accident)! So careless she was! She could not even finish her lunch! What a waste! After that, we went RACING( joo, Michelle and I) ! Of course just for fun, and i think my "racing skill" had improved quite a lot, compared to the first time i played that.. It was fun and "chikek"!
Then sat down, drink fruit juice... Relax and comfortable!
And at night, mahyong, lok lok as my dinner, then brought Michelle's back to my house for second b'day cake, then went out with sister and her boyfriend for curry mee and fruit juice again!
Wow.. the whole day was tiring but fun! Thanks those friends who celebrated with me, giving me a memorable b'day!

HIKINGGGG!!

Today I went hiking with Michelle and Kean Teong, it was really a great experience! We climbed up using a new route that I have never tried before… Kean Teong tried before so he could bring us.. So we just followed him lo.. And before that, when I was about to come out from my house to fetch Michelle, Kean Teong called me, saying that he had already reached! I was late! So I rushed to Michelle’s house, and waited her for a while.. So sorry to let him wait!!! Paiseh, paiseh…

Anyway, I found Kean Teong quite an experience and adventurous hiker, haha.. not bad la, at least he looked after me, I tried something that I had never tried before. And thanks for looking after me!! Then when we came down, Michelle and I went to the skating board to “skate” using our buttocks! It was a new game for Kean teong I think. What a waste that he didn’t wanna play! Haha… It has been long since the last time I played that, so I would still be scared to skate down actually..hahaJ But finally I tried! So syiok!

Then Michelle went and played her “station game”, erm.. not bad! But I think my hands are really “useless”, cant be used for any exercise that requires energy I think..cham.. Then we went to Pulau Tikus to have our lunch.. Then went home! I was tired! Wanna have a sweet afternoon nap, but couldn’t as Sue Ann was coming to find me.. We had a great chat!

I am sure that tonight I ll be sleeping like a pig throughout the whole night! But today was really syiok! So contented + happy!

1 night stay at Lone Pine Hotel !

Wednesday I went to lone pine hotel with my college’s friends and Michelle.. the experience was great!!

We ate steamboat, this.. I really admired them(Anne, Lay Hoon, Kean Teong, Jo Ni, Zhan Peng and so on) for thinking from every aspect.. They planned, and all of us brought everything and left out nothing… seemed that they were really experienced… And know how to enjoy!

I also did something that I never tried before---Horse riding with Jo Ni ! It took us time to get on the horse, as it was quite “horrible”..haha… And when the horse started walking, oh my god, I was so afraid that I would fall… Even trembling when I was talking to Jo Ni. Anyway, after 1 minute, I found myself to be more stable, at least not so scared. It was great!!!! After that, we went to the Pasar Malam. Oh my god, it was so big, long… I walked till my legs sore, still hadn’t reached the end.. I think everyone gave up gua..

And at night, we played a game which was quite new to me..i forgot the name, but it was something like a detective game—you had to guess out who the suspect was, what weapon he/she used and where the suspect committed the crime. Everyone was given cards, and u had to ask them, guess out what cards they were holding..(those cards told you that they were not the real places, suspects and weapons used, as the real ones, were taken out) erm.. it is complicated to introduce the game here.. but it really tests your brain.. And I remember I was so sleepy before playing the game, but throughout the process of asking and guessing, when the game finished, I was no longer sleepy, but hungry! And yesterday was really my day I think, coz I won the detective game! Kean Teong guessed out the real suspect, weapon and place too, but his turn was after me, how unlucky he was.. he almost won the game!

The next morning, Anne and Lay hoon went for hotel buffet for breakfast, the remaining 6 people, we were having our great tuna sandwiches too! Lawrence said breakfast is meant for King; lunch for ordinary people; dinner for poor people… That means breakfast should be very superb and delicious, very nutritious! Haha.. although sandwiches, seemed that everyone enjoyed that!

We signed out at 11.45 sth, then anne sent me and michelle home.. although sleepy, I went to disted college to transfer all the pictures to my friends.. then went to gurney for a while.. then went home.. yesterday was really tiring.. so I slept at 10 sth.. too tired! Anyway, the entire journey was great!

I fell again...

Today could be considered as my unlucky day… most things seemed to go wrong..

Early in the morning, my mom called my sister, asked her to tell me that daddy’s car was broken down, so he drove my wira to the market liao..That means I had no car to use.. It was 8am, I was half sleeping that moment, refused to wake up yet. But when I heard my sister said NO CAR to use… I straight away woke up! Then i asked sue ann to fetch me to disted( as she planned to go there study, I accompanied her, as disted library now has only few people, good environment to study.) instead of I fetch her.

When she reached my house, I walked towards her and suddenly fell…(i also donno why eh)and it was on the road.. so.. u could actually imagine what happened to my palm and knee. My right knee was quite terribly injured, and breeding and bruised.

The guard in my apartment was quite nice. When he saw me falling, instead of laughing, he came and helped me to take all my fallen books. Sue Ann was more terrible la, kept laughing in the car.. but the way she described the incident was a bit funny--- She said: 看你美美的走过来，然后突然间在我的视线中消失，一秒钟后又出现( I got up very fast, as I wore dress..)，真的很好笑lei！That time I was so painful liao, she still kept laughing… haha.. really wanna cekik her!

This year, I really donno how many times I fell already.. falling from stairs in disted, slipped in Gurney Drive, slipped in front of my house… And the most unforgettable--- last year experience of falling into drain.. There is still a scar (but already not that obvious) on my thigh… This time fell on the road.. I am really scared that it would leave me scars on my knee.. That’s terrible!! My knee now still painful and it swells. Cham nia..

When I reached library, I straight away walked to the washroom to wash my wounds. Sue Ann half washing, half screaming… I know her heart sore.. haha.. seeing me breeding.. Then I helped my fren to return his textbooks. Then reading for a while, and went online to do research for medical universities… But I really feel lazy to read the words in computer, perhaps one day I should print them out.. And any of you, if u have any medical school’s website, u are welcome to email me! Oh ya, I have registered a new google account [huiping1215@gmail.com], thanks Lawrence for inviting me in..

In the afternoon, we went to watch “death note”, hey man.. Not bad!! It sounds scary, but it is not scary.. Everything seemed to be quite interesting! I like that! Anyway, the ending gotta wait till the second episode… Not finished yet… I must watch that!

Also, Michelle sent me sms.. saying that she is doing cheese cake tomorrow.. That really surprises me! I never know that u know how to do cheese cake! Although I avoid eating cheese as I am on diet, since the cheese cake is made by u, I ll sure give u face and eat a bit! So tomorrow..when I see you… I will taste it! Yeah, girl!

心肝宝贝

Recently I found this song by Andy Lau really… Meaningful.
Especially recently, we gotta face examinations; or some other friends were hurt; some were sick….
This song carries what I wanna say to:--

Phzi Shuang- you are the luckiest now---- with a caring bf, healthy body, no exams… But do take care ya.. I know your birthday coming soon,don worry la.. never be forgotten! Haha.. We are so well- known to be best friend, I think nothing would ever ruin our friendship, so stable!

Sue Ann- Wei, although your exam has finished, but form 6 cant stop 1. Don’t disappoint your so.. caring chemistry teacher liao.. No matter how, follow me when I wanna go out study ya… Got problems, “consult” me always! So do I !

Joo Ling- You are strong physically but I know you are weak mentally. Although we don seem to be the same type of people, may be we don have the same characteristics or what, but seems that we “saling melengkapi”. That makes us no barrier to share anything! So, no matter what happened, just remember that I will be at your side and I always will be! Finished exams, but I know you won’t stop.. Gambateh!

Michelle- Another girl who looks strong physically and yet weak mentally. We have chatted and shared problems on phone for so many times and we both really couldn’t stop talking! Haha… although sometimes u and joo ling like to “play me fool”( I think u both are of the same type, haha), but I know they were all for fun..haha..Again,we saling melengkapi!

Toak Hou- You are so far the first boy who has heard me “crying” for several times.. just thanks for being my listener. Really weird, you are always like my “big sister”; I would tell you whatever in my mind. Just the intention that I must tell this “big sister”(don mind to be my “sister” right?) hahahahah…

Giap Kheng- Another caring friend who is so helpful and considerate. Although we know each other for only few months, but we have already done so many things that must not be forgotten. I got too much to thank you. All the helps that you offered or I asked for, would never be forgotten. Trust yourself always, be confident especially during exams, please don be nervous!

Lawrence- A friend who always remembers me when he faces problems in studies. Thanks for calling sometimes just to tell me those mistakes that I have done in my homework. That’s touching! I could see that u are also a caring friend, like last time offered me some biscuits + your water when I was starving during the financial talk. Haha… All these again will NEVER be forgotten. Thanks!

Kean Teong- Another friend who always remembers me when he faces problems in studies. Haha.. Sometimes I really thank you for asking questions, as your questions would remind me about something normally. Both of us gotta learn sth new. But remember to be confident too!

Lay hoon- Another leehom’s fan. Every time when you mentioned Leehom, I would definitely “wake up” from my sleepiness. Haha… I don’t know what to say… Again, thanks for asking questions as I also learnt a lot from that! Hehe..remember to see read through the lyric. Gambateh for exam!! Don think of those unfair thing liao, forget them :)

Anne- You are calm and cool sometimes, but easily scared when sitting at the passenger’s seat. Haha… I still remember last time when Lawrence and I were driving, u would remind-- when to stop.. haha… cute! and I quite like your restaurant food!

Siew Min- A friend who always ask me tips to get good results, but I don’t know whether u really follow what I hace told u. hope that u follow la har! Hehe.. U are also the only one who have already “occupied” by someone else(haha…)
But remember, don neglect studies and always go pak tor oh!

OK, here the lyric. I hope u all will like that, and this is what I wanted say—especially to those caring+ loving friends who have touched my heart!

心肝宝贝

我 我为你付出所有的
我的担心 我的甜蜜 我的呼吸
你的笑 绝对的神奇
你的哭 绝对的可惜
因为你 让我明白生命的真谛
可知道 你的不小心
会让我伤心一辈子
我是愿意为了你 今生永不渝

为我 你要好好自己保护自己
慢慢的学习 不要干焦急
一步一步走出每一个谷底 坚定不移
为我 你要好好自己保重身体
在每一段的路 总会一身污泥
心肝宝贝 不要怀疑 最爱就是你 ( 最爱的是你 )

你 你是我一生的唯一
你的声音 你的鼓励 我的意义

如果没好好的身体
你我怎能永远在一起
外面的风和雨 已不是问题

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/125752ht.htm

It isn't fair!!

The past 2 days were Math paper 1 and chemistry’s practical(paper 3) exams. The Math questions really made me stunned a bit, as they were MUCH harder than I imagined. But, still okay, I just hope that I didn’t do any mistakes in calculation or when pressing the calculator as I had no much time left to check through every question, every answer.

But what made me feel a bit “heart sore” was during chem Practical. We gotta carry out experiments on the spot( chikek right??). So far I only knew A-levels got such thing, sixth form and HSC also do lab reports nia. Ok, here come to the point, as we gotta use the lab, so it is impossible for all the students to take the test at the same time. So, we were divided into 4 groups. First group, the most unlucky ones. And “sad” to tell u, I was in the first group for chem., and WILL BE in the first group for bio too! Haiz..
Ok well, after the first group did their test, they were sent to hall to “quarantine”(from 9.45-12.20pm), but do u think it worked? Only “students” were quarantined and not their handphones! Still many leaked out the questions (and even answer) to their friends from 2nd, 3rd or 4th group! At first, I thought there wont be anyone would “betray” themselves to leak the questions to their friends. But I was wrong. I had thought too much!

My friend from the 3rd group, the first word that he said when he saw me after finishing the test was “IT ISN’T FAIR!” Some of the candidates already knew the questions+ answers before they had the chance to see the question papers! Before that, I didn’t reveal the questions to my friend as I wanted it to be a FAIR EXAMINATION. But now, since it was already not fair, I should have leaked the questions too! I had accepted my fate to be in the 1st group, for me, I just heard from my friend how fast they finished their papers(normally for paper3, we have to do 2 experiments in 1 hour and 15 minutes, usually wont hv enough time if u don’t manage ur time well); and how they discussed + copied from one another. I just heard with ears, but my friend SAW with his own eyes, really unbelievable + “heart sore”. I thought too much. I had been so naïve for hoping that no one would leak the questions to make it a fair exam. Even that time I didn’t have my hand phone with me, I should have found the chance to help my friends too. What’s the point to quarantine? Questions would still be leaked out..

I felt “heart sore”(Only because I was so unlucky), but I know my friend who saw with his own eyes, how unfair the practical was, his “heart sore” would be double of mine….

恶魔在身边

Now study break has started, but I found myself “no mood” to study, so I come here blogging… haha..:P

Erm, yesterday I watched the Rob-b-hood，宝贝计划 by Jacky Chan and Louis Koo, wei everyone! Don miss that ok? It was indeed a good movie, funny in the beginning, touching at the end. So, it actually made me laugh then cry then laugh + cry simultaneously. And most importantly, the baby----Wow, my God la, so cute!! It made me want to have one also..haha XD

Well, today I went college library to study, I really cant study at home eh(especially during holidays)..After home, I watched again the ROB-B-HOOD, still laughed and cried, but not as “serious” as yesterday…yeah!
Then I watched another Taiwanese drama series---恶魔在身边 by Rainie Yang杨丞琳§贺军翔, today was the first day I watched, although it started the 1st episode last fri, I missed! Nvm la, this drama is very interesting, I think quite suitable for college’s students like me. :P
And also, I found 杨丞琳 is really cute + beautiful, I really cant understand those who hate her, for what?

I especially like the song片尾曲――暧昧,真的好好听哦！歌词非常的贴近生活（我之前也提过这首歌不少次）。。这首歌使我开始认识杨丞琳,also made me start to admire her a bit..heheJ

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情 还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景
到底该不该哭泣

想太多 是我还是你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/106457ht.htm

Yeah, this is what we mean by “暧昧”， 就像我所说的：跟喜欢的人搞暧昧就够了，不然，真的好惨！恶魔在身边，我刚开始看，还蛮耐人寻味的，等我多看一些，再跟大家分享吧！

When bad luck strives…

…. Everything is possible to happen!!
Just now when I was on my way home, my poor bumper was again crashed by a motorcycle! I was really shocked and innocent… Just drove as usual, how could it be??
Actually at first I thought it was a car which crashed me, but when I turned around, a saw a motorist, he was getting up from his motorbike.

I really didn’t know that my bumper fell, I drove the roadside, and alighted from my car, just wanted to ask the motorist, whether he was ok or not. BUT, when I saw my bumper almost fell down, instead of asking him “Are u ok?” ; I said:” So, what are u going to do?” pointing at my half-fallen bumper.
He said:" Sorry…(a bit trembling),sth wrong with my brake( I couldn’t hear clearly), but I am poor, I have no money..”.
I continued:" u are poor, I am not rich either. U gotta pay a bit la. The bumper has fallen down.”
Then he said:" I admit that it is my fault, but I really have no money.. ”
Then, a passer-by stopped, offered me a name card, asking me to call that person (Auto services centre). I was still stunned, and I just followed. As time passed, more and more motorists stopped.(From the first 1 car and 1 motor to 1 car and donno how many motors). This is the first time that I really understand what the meaning of “competition” is. Many offered me name cards, all auto services centres. I really didn’t know what to do.. Mind blocked. I called my parents, and my daddy rushed to the scene by motorcycle. U know, when I was alone there, I gotta face with so many strangers (actually they were offering me help I think.) And when I saw my dad finally arrived, wow.. I felt much relieved. At least there was finally somebody that I knew. And the motorist that crashed my bumper, apologized to my dad, and admitted his fault too. Again, he said he has no money.. He insisted that he could only pay half of the bill, otherwise, report to the police. My dad said it was not very serious till cost a lot of money, so we compromised. He pays half and we pay half.
At first, I didn’t agree at all, as I was really innocent, it was totally not my fault! Why daddy gotta pay for his carelessness? But when I think further, it is really ma huan to report, especially now, during Puasa, so I can only accept my fate. No choice lo…I found that every time is like that, last time my dad knocked down, the driver also paid partially, this time, also the same. Why we always need to pay for others’ carelessness? I cant understand. Anyway, the motorist was also not a bad man, at least he admitted it was his fault. Hope that he would take this lesson and ride more carefully la. I also gotta be more aware!
Oh ya, as my car gotta send for repair tomorrow, I really thank Giap Kheng who offered to fetch me to college tomorrow. So grateful.. Otherwise, I really donno how I am going to college.. As he has to send his hostel-mates to college also, so he has to make an extra journey.特地来我家载我去college, 再回hostel载朋友, 真不好意思!!! Thanks a billion! You are really really kind + helpful…
And Sue Ann also, today is your birthday, I said I wanted to pay u a visit, but this accident has delayed my plan. And by the time I am ready to find u, u have already gone out with ur bf…. I understand la, don feel sorry.. haha.. :P ,thanks for calling me! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU and I LOVE YOU!!

我的心事。。。

Throughout the whole of last week, I couldn’t online at home,as I hv already used up my TMnet prepaid credit. Haha..so paiseh nia,my fren jojo asked me online I also couldn’t…
Anyway, my advice to everyone of u who is struggling with rumours is Please DON’T care bout rumours la,they ll die down eventually if it is not true.. Last year I had terrible experience liao, and my experience told me, the more u explain, the more ppl ll talk about that, and the more u suffer! Those who spread rumours, have only 1 intention, they wanna see u getting panicked, the more u react, the more excited they will be…. So, be cool and stay calm, they will get bored, and ur rumours will die down… It is like the rumours btw Leehom and Shuqi, no matter it was true or not, they didn’t say anything, so it still remains as a mystery to everyone(only both of them know)…. And after some time, people will definitely forget about it… Yeah!

Last Friday, I went to Michelle’s house with Joo Ling, yeah,I had been missing them u know…Oh yes, I never mentioned before, Joo was once admitted to hospital, coz of appendicitis, and that time I was having my trial exam, so in order not to disturb me, she didn’t tell me till after she was discharged from the hospital.Oh my God, I thank her for being so considerate, but I still feel that she should have told me earlier…anyway la, as long as she is fine now… not important liao la… wei…u didn’t go school for so long, GAMBATEH la, I know u sure can catch up with all the lessons..And we really had a good time, joo really exposed me and Michelle to “new experience+ interesting story” of others that we never heard or encountered b4…well,im not going to discuss here, as it is confidential, BUT please,all the girls out there, do know how to protect urself(here I mean your dignity)! Especially when ur parents are not around u, don’t do anything that is over the barrier especially with those from the opposite gender! Respect yourself …Think of your beloved parents pls, don disappoint them!

Well, sometimes I really wonder what love is.. Cant long-distance love last? Leehom said there is still hope, but from what I saw, I think it depends on discipline of both the couple. 为什么曾经那么深爱着一个人，最后却会因距离及遇上新对象 而放弃及变心呢？很明显的，在我们这个年龄，还相当不成熟呢！但我也有遇过，两个男生都为他们深爱的女生（不同的女生哦）不断的付出而不求回报，并且表示愿意等。。我不知道在我们这个年龄，有没有资格用“深爱”这两个字来形容，但他们真的让我敬佩不已，我曾经劝其中一个放弃，因为那女的是我其中一个好朋友，我知道她不可能会接受他（并非那男的不好，而是种种原因），但他对我说：“没有她，就不会有今天的我。。。”我还能说什么？只希望时间可以慢慢地冲淡一切（Time is a great healer）。I donno whether “he” reads my blog , if he does, I hope he can get my message here, BE STRONG!振作起来吧！

令一个男生呢，我从没叫他放弃过，因为我很支持他跟我的朋友一起，他人真的很好，至少比她的男友好多了（其实她也觉得，就不知道为什么就是放不下她的男友〕，anyway,he left last Saturday afternoon,to Russia pursue his studies,again, all the best to him la! 这里我想带出一个讯息，女生呢，最怕就是男生死缠烂打，怎么讲都听不懂（因为我也遇过，所以相当有感触，哈哈），当然啦，男生应该是主动告白的那一个，被拒绝的话也是很平常，就给女生时间，或默默的支持她，而不是一味地不停叫她接受你，只要她知道你的心意，时间到了，她自然会接受你，并不需要你去“提醒” 她，过分地追求，只会让她觉得你很厌烦，就会对你反感，就弄巧反拙哦！

Michelle sent me a message last Saturday also, the message was sth like :
Simple BYE makes you cry;
Simple JOKE makes you laugh;
Simple CARE makes you fall in love;
Simple TOUCH makes you feel better;
My Simple “Hi” makes you smile =)
I didn’t know whether it was forwarded or she typed herself, but it was really suitable to describe me la..Thanks Michelle!
A Simple BYE really can make me cry(I mean BYE for long time);A Simple JOKE really can make me laugh,A Simple CARE MAY make me fall in love(it depends la, otherwise, I would be loving all those guys who care of me,hehe..ki siao meh),A Simple TOUCH really can make me feel better(but cannot luan luan touch la,like certain parts cannot cincai cincai touch one,haha..),and her simple HI already made me SMILE!
I think Im juz like the other girls, easily get touched. I think it is time for me to control myself(I mean learn to control my feeling), I believe I can… I will try my BEST! Berjuanglah! Hey, Michelle,I remember your words, piang ma sure 掂！哈哈。。。For those who don’t know, “piang ma第四声” is the way Michelle and Joo Ling call me sometimes..Last year these 2 creative girls gave me many nick names,我们太熟了！ this was one of them, and still using now,haha!!

I cant afford to lose them!

Yesterday I slept at 3am, chatting with Michelle on the phone…. Haha.. we really got many interesting stuff to talk about… And this morning, I woke up at 9am, I think I should “thank” to my sister and her bf, so noisy till woke me up! Sleep interrupted. kaka..

Then we went to eat Dim Sum, and surprisingly met Phzi shuang and her bf there—“7 early 8 early go pak tor!”(please read in hokkien)haha… And my sister’s bf perli me, “see la, ppl got bf and u bo lang ai(no one interested)”..heh.. “me 单身主义 tak boleh ke?” yeah… like what Joo said in her blog!

Then we went Adventist hospital to get my dad’s X-ray report. God bless, no abnormalities detected! Then we went Pulau Tikus, every customer there saw my dad’s wrapped wounds and asked him what happened to him. Then he gotta explain for donno how many times whenever customers asked.haha..Actually this was expected. That’s y last night when we gathered at my mom’s room, I said, “tomorrow ar, must hv a lot of ppl ask u one la.,u gotta answer till chui3 suin(hokkien).”, then sister continued :" aiyo,u very gong ar(stupid),record it onto a tape, then whenever ppl ask, play it and let them listen la.” Then my dad continued:" No no.. bring Ping ping (me) there and answer their questions la” ..hahahahah.. sometimes I feel that my whole family is simply too optimistic la.. all happy-go-lucky type..

But before that ar, when I was still at gurney, I was told that my ex-classmate, Wai Wai’s father passed away in the beginning of this year after falling down from stairs. I felt shocked and sorry to listen to that, life is really unpredictable! Then I told PhziShuang, I still need my parents to take care of and protect me very much, I really can’t afford to lose them! If I lost them suddenly without a sign or mentally prepared, I would definitely 崩溃！So, when I was first told by my sis in the car that my dad was knocked down ar, the first thing that came to my mind was that sentence that I told shuang just now. I said,” Don cheat me la,” pretended to be calm. Then she said “ I wont joke with this la??” Wow… u know how much I worried bout my dad? + I was so scared! There was suddenly a strong feeling that: I really really really cant afford to lose my dad!! Almost every night he kisses me/or I kiss him on the face before we sleep, although I hv grown up liao. haha… This is a habit. And I stick to my dad a lot.. Many said that, one day if I get married, donno how many days my dad will cry! Haha..And my mom, I also cant afford to lose her, she prepares dinner for me, she settles many things for me, (I also donno how much they are..).. she does the house chores, except for the dirty clothes, that one is my part.

This accident shows that my dad and mom really really sayang me, my dad NEVER blames me for that accident. He never blames me for everything! Even when I knocked his car’s bumper on the wall! Kaka.. so does my mom. I must *1000000 times sayang them (like what Giap kheng said).. I know they put a high expectation and hope on me, to give them a better life, so I must work hard for that, for a better future, better quality of life for me, my parents, my family… Gambateh la!

An unlucky day…

Today I just finished exam, I should be happy… but so many unlucky things happened…

First, I made dates with 2 gangs of frens, one in the afternoon, another in the evening. As I was going to stay long at gurney(from afternoon till night), so I was not going to drive there, otherwise, I couldn’t imagine how much I gotta pay for parking fees! And my dad was going out, so he sent me there by motorbike. And here the main point, riding on a motor is really dangerous, even u juz stop there.

After my dad drop